The Last Fifteen Summers
by prettyinpinkgal
Summary: A look at Misuzu's life, starting from when she's born to the summer that changes her life forever. Drabble-like to oneshot-size. FINISHED! Thank you for sticking with me!
1. Spring: Age 0

**Prettyinpinkgal: What I wrote 07/07/07: Hi! Like many of my story ideas, this idea just struck me right out of the blue. I hope you enjoy it! The title "The Last Fifteen Summers" is inspired by "The 1000th Summer". Much of this fanfiction will be my own guesses (like how Misuzu's real mother died) and whatnot, so yeah. I do not know Misuzu's real mother's name, so I made up one.**

**What I wrote on 10/21/10: I have decided to change some things about this chapter now that I rewatched the series and decided to do things more according to the series than the movie, so small details will be changed. By the way, Document Manager's being a jerk, so I apologize for any errors or formatting issues. Chances are they were fixed, but it's being a word I will refrain from saying, so who knows. Thanks for the reviews so far, updates are in the future!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own "AIR". If I did, I would have cried making the episodes.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**CHAPTER ONE: SPRING**

"Keisuke!" Ikuko cried. She clutched her stomach in pain. "Keisuke!"

Her lover rushed into the kitchen, where Ikuko was lying against the wall. She was sweating and crying, her face contorted in pain.

"Ikuko!" Keisuke ran to her side. "Are you alright?"

She shook her head.

"Is the baby coming?"

She nodded.

Keisuke scrambled to his feet and ran for the phone, quickly dialing the number for the hospital. He informed them that he was driving Ikuko over. Hanging up, he went back to his wife. Helping her to her feet, he slowly walked her outside to the car.

* * *

Keisuke alternated between pacing, sitting down and drumming his fingers on the small table beside the chair, and pacing again. Just then, it hit him: The family didn't know about Ikuko! He hurried over to the payphone and dialed his family, then his girlfriend's.

Finally, he called Ikuko's younger sister, Haruko, on her cell phone.

_**"Hey, it's Haruko."**_

"Haruko, it's Keisuke..."

_**"Keisuke! Long time no chat! How's my big sis?"**_

Keisuke sighed. "Have you been drinking again? You're just out of high school; that's not goo-"

**_"I never get that drunk! Geez..."_**

"Anyway, the reason I called is that Ikuko is having her baby."

_**"...Eh?"**_

"Yes, so if you're able to, you should come over to the hospital here and..."

_**CLICK**_

Keisuke blinked. _She must be on her way, _he thought.

* * *

Haruko yelled at the guy at the train station.

"WHADDYA MEAN, I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY? MY SISTER'S HAVING A BABY AND I HAVE TO BE THERE! I JUST DROVE HERE FROM MY WORK PLACE, BREAKING PROBABLY A BAZILLION LAWS ON THE WAY OVER HERE, AND YOU TELL ME I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY?"

The man covered his ears. "Please, ma'am, keep it down..."

"KEEP IT DOWN? KEEP IT BLOODY _DOWN? _DID YOU HEAR ME? MY BIG SISTER IS HAVING A BABY IN TOKYO AND I HAVE TO GET THERE SO LET ME GET ON THAT FRIGGIN' TRAIN OR I'LL HAVE TO USE MY SECRET WEAPON!"

"Ma'am, please..." said the guy, holding his hands up as if it would calm Haruko down.

"SECRET WEAPON! HAH!" she shouted as she poked him in the eyes.

"My eyes!" He cried out, clutching his face. Many people watched in bewilderment as Haruko grabbed a ticket, leaving all the money she had on the desk and shouting a cheerful, "Thank you!" as she bolted towards the train.

* * *

The hospital doors flew open. Keisuke looked up and saw the disheveled girl, panting and sweating. Her eyes scanned the hospital's waiting room frantically until she spotted him. "You!" she shouted, pointing at Keisuke. She ran over, startling the nervous man. "How is she? Is Sis alright?"

"Er...yes, from what I heard so far, it sounds like she's doing fine so far-at least, she's as fine as any woman in labor can be." His eyes gave away that he was concerned nonetheless.

Seeing his concern, Haruko gave a smile. "Well, of course she's alright! She's my sister, after all! After Sis is feeling up to it, and the baby gets a sitter, we can all go out and celebrate with some sake!"

Keisuke laughed, and although it was weak, it was a laugh nonetheless.

"So," he said casually. "How many laws did you break on your way over here?"

Haruko laughed nervously.

* * *

Five hours later, Keisuke was the father of a healthy little girl. Haruko and Keisuke stood next to Ikuko, who held her daughter in her arms. "What should we name her?" she asked Keisuke weakly. To Haruko, she smiled and whispered, "I want your opinion on the name too."

"Suzume," Haruko said, smiling broadly at the sweet baby.

At the same time, Keisuke said, "Mitsuki." He and Haruko looked at each other, and laughed softly so as not to disturb the baby.

Ikuko chuckled quietly, and whispered, "How about Misuzu? It's like a compromise between Mitsuki and Suzume. Plus," she added rather bashfully, "I was sort of hoping that we could name her that."

Keisuke and Haruko grinned. "Misuzu," Haruko said, looking affectionately at the baby who was now gripping onto her index finger. "I like that."

"Ah, and one more thing," Ikuko quickly said after Keisuke began to insist that she should sleep to get her strength back. "I want to tell you something, Haruko. Keisuke and I decided to name you Misuzu's godmother. What do you say?"

Haruko laughed loudly, startling the couple and the baby, who let out a slurred mumble. "Don't be silly! I'd be terrible at it. I work all day, and I'm just not a 'motherly' type of person!"

"You'd be fine at it," Ikuko retorted. She could be just as stubborn as her sister. "Do you think I planned on being a mom? Whether you like it or not, you're her godmother."

Haruko waved it off in her roundabout way. "Whatever. Fine. It's not like anything'll happen to you guys. It's no big deal."

Sadly, this was perhaps the happiest moment the adults would experience. It all went downhill after this point, they would reflect later. However, for now, they felt content, and Misuzu didn't let go of her aunt's finger.

**Prettyinpinkgal: Well, there's the first chapter! Some years will be longer than others, due to important events. For example, the fifteenth summer will be the longest of all, for obvious reasons. But it should be fun to write! Please review; thanks very much:D**

**10/21/10: Episode 10 of AIR will be my biggest reference for this story. I had forgotten, until rewatching it, that Misuzu hadn't been a wanted child, and Ikuko and Keisuke hadn't been married and were often feuding. Right now it's not very obvious, but in future chapters it will definitely come out. Also, this chapter is called Spring because since her age is basically 0 and I have it labeled as FIFTEEN summers, not sixteen, I'm just calling this spring, like a prelude. :)**


	2. The First Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: I will not guarantee consistant updates, since chances are it won't be, especially since life is going to be one helping of busy from this point out, I think, and I have my own original novels and other fanfiction to work on, not to mention school and college next year, but I WILL say that there will be updates sometime or another, and right now I have plenty of inspiration for this. I think this might be more drabble-esque rather than longer, but we'll see. It is what it is :) Thanks for sticking with me, guys! I love your reviews! And if you haven't already, please check out the slightly-edited first chapter; there's several changes there!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Well, except for my original novel, "Under the Flag of Stars and Stripes", which can be found at alyssabcole[dot]webs[dot]com-! (is shot from shameless advertising)**

**The LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIRST SUMMER**

It became clear early on that there was something strange about Misuzu.

At first, she was an infant who needed the basic needs of life, and her parents were those who could give her what she needed-clean diapers, food, and baths. Occasionally, they became sources of entertainment, when they weren't too busy arguing. As her emotional side grew with her personality, she began to like them, despite the loudness, and began to love them.

At first, the baby united Keisuke and Ikuko, who hadn't initially wanted a baby and had hardly expected to tolerate each other long to resist breaking up before fall. They had already broken up several times before, but they kept falling back into the cycle of apologizing, making up, loving, fighting, breaking up, and apologizing again. If they hadn't been the ones involved, they would immediately point out that the couple was stupid and in the middle of an unhealthy relationship. As it was, they couldn't see the wrongness. Things got horribly ugly when Ikuko realized she was pregnant, and blame was thrown harshly, resulting in slamming doors, screaming, and shattering plates.

Once the baby arrived, however, they tried to be nurturing. She was a rather cute baby, and they did not loathe her as they had when they realized Ikuko was pregnant. Still, the constant dirty diapers, the need to be by her side 24/7, the restless nights, the piercing screams-they sometimes wondered if she had learned it from them-and the crying wore on their nerves very soon, and the blame game began again.

Eventually, as Misuzu grew to become a sweet, loving child, they occasionally loved her as well. This is when the trouble really began.

Misuzu could not enjoy the kisses of neighbors and friends. She could not smile at nice words directed towards her for long. She could not tolerate being held for long, for-this was the strange thing-she would then cry loudly. Once she calmed down, she would stretch out her arms, as though begging: please Mommy, please Daddy, I'll be good, I will, so hold me again, pretend you love me, just for a little bit, just long enough so I can believe it.

When she did this to Keisuke, he would roll his eyes, mutter, "Strange kid," and go back to his neverending pile of work.

When she did this to Ikuko, the woman would retort, "Oh, no, missy. I've had enough of you for today. Take a nap. Goodnight, Misuzu," she would finally say, closing the door behind her, usually putting the baby moniter in the room she was entering on mute.

They were not really uncaring people. Stress, trying to work out a failing relationship, the miserable outlook they held for their own futures, tainted their relationships with everyone, particularly Misuzu. Haruko received less and less phone calls from her sister-the former never called; she was broke enough and did not need to deal with the long-distant calls, thank you!-and when she did, the woman on the other end began sounding more exhausted and more testy.

"It's because of that guy, isn't it?" Haruko eventually said, glaring at nothing.

"Yeah, but it's the baby, too. Honestly, Haruko, I can't even stand Misuzu most days!"

"Is it that depression women have after giving birth?"

"Huh? Oh, no, it's not that. Sometimes, when she's quiet, I like her a lot. But it's just...it was much easier to love her when I was drugged up at the hospital!"

"Jeez! Don't you think that's harsh?"

"No, it's the truth," Ikuko would reply.

"I never liked that guy," Haruko said, feeling more at ease bashing a good-for-nothing guy than an innocent babe. "I mean, I can handle him in small doses, and when we're both on the same page-like when you were in labor and we were worried. But he usually seems really cool and standoffish-"

Ikuko cracked a smile. "That's pretty good vocab for you, Haruko."

"Thanks! But yeah, he's just...I think you both are too serious, and that's not good for the two of you. Too alike, ya know? As they say, opposites attract." She paused. "What does Keisuke think of Misuzu?"

"Same as me, I guess. For him, I think, it's that he's not around her much, so he can sort of forget that we're stuck together because of her, and that she even exists. I guess you can say they're missing the relationship more, and so that's his reason for disliking her. Meanwhile, I think I resent her because I'm stuck at home all day. We're stuck in our own little world-"

"Take her on a walk or something, or daycare!"

"We're not that rich for daycare, and I haven't been feeling that well since I gave birth to her. The doctor says I should take it easy for a while and it's probably nothing, so I'm just trying to relax-as much as I can, anyway-and-OH-!" she cursed loudly. "Haruko, she's crying again! Make some money and move to Tokyo so you can babysit, will ya?"

Haruko knew she was upset when her Kansai accent popped up. "Chill, chill. It'll get better-"

"And this weird brat hardly lets me hold her! Gosh, I need to get out of here! A year! A whole _year _of this! How can I raise a kid for seventeen more years?"

"At least she won't be a baby for that entire time-"

"Forget it; I gotta go change feed her. Don't get yourself pregnant, Haruko. Being a mom is not worth throwing your entire life and dreams out the window."

"I'm not planning on it," Haruko murmured, wincing as the dial tone loudly declared that the call had ended. Sighing, she turned her phone off and got some chips to eat while she watched some late-night tv. Without even hearing what she was saying, the words out of her mouth were not "poor Sis", but "poor kid."


	3. The Second Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: Another chapter! Yay! And some paragraphs will be more directly connected with Misuzu's thoughts than others. Just so you know :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE SECOND SUMMER**

Misuzu liked being two. She was not a healthy child-it turned out that had been one of the reasons she had cried so much as a baby-but she enjoyed running when it did not overexert her. She liked playing in the backyard of the apartment with the plants and picking flowers for her parents, which would often go into a small cup of water and then go neglected. She did not notice this until later.

She liked staring up at the sky the most. The fluffy clouds looked fun to bounce on. Later, she would realize that there was a part of her that had been very unhappy in that cramped apartment with the loathing which resided there, and the sky was her refuge. At the time, though, she merely felt like she had what could be called a kindred spirit. The sky was her sole companion, her sole friend.

The family had realized that Misuzu could not tolerate befriending people. For whatever reason, she would cry as if she was in horrendous pain. The realization brought about some guilt over being so uncaring towards her when she suffered from one of her attacks, but it really was the easiest way to make the crying stop. Anything to stop that horrible crying, which pierced eardrums and hearts...

Misuzu liked watching the other kids play. One time, she even got to throw a ball back to the neighboring children. It was so much fun! They even smiled and said, "Thank you!" But then their parents scolded them, saying that they don't want to make poor Misuzu-chan cry, and if they didn't want to make her cry, they would stay away from her.

Misuzu liked smiling. If she smiled, people thought she was normal. She could feel like there were a whole lot of things to smile about, not just a handful. Sometimes, her smile made Mama and Papa stop fighting. She was glad for it. Her smile was her own little lucky charm.

Misuzu did not like crying, though, and it seemed to happen as often as she smiled. Sometimes it was because of her attacks. Most of the time, she was just lonely. But her parents could tell the difference between her attacks and real crying now, and she was often scolded when she burst into tears because she couldn't play with anyone.

Misuzu liked hearing stories of the ocean. Mama lived near the ocean, once. Mama said her aunt Haruko still lived by the sea. Misuzu said she wanted to go see the ocean, but Mama said they needed to save money. Misuzu was fine with this; telling stories of the ocean was enough to cheer Mama up, and that cheered Misuzu-chin up too!

Misuzu didn't like hearing Mama coughing. It was loud and scary.

Misuzu liked the dinosaur book Papa brought home. Since she wasn't allowed to be with a lot of people, she had to stay home a lot. That's why it was so exciting whenever Papa brought home a gift, which was rare, but that made it so much of a treat.

"Papa-"

"Not now, Misuzu," he said absently, scribbling on a piece of paper.

Misuzu was a good girl. She listened to her parents. She sometimes heard the neighbors saying, "My, besides that little 'issue', your daughter seems perfect! If only Shotaro would listen so well! And she's so cute and sweet! Such a shame..."

Misuzu would stop listening around that part.

But she drummed her toes over the floor, anxiously waiting for her father to finish.

Her subtle distraction was enough to get Keisuke's attention. "Fine," he said coolly. "What is it?"

Misuzu's face lit up. "U-um, can you read this to me?"

"Your dinosaur book, hm? How about after dinner?"

She whipped her head around to look at the clock. Dinner was always when the little hand was at the bottom of the circle. It was almost there already! She could wait. She'd make Papa so proud of her that he would read the book to her really happily-

"Make your own dinner!" Mama cried, slamming the pans onto the countertop, making Misuzu cry, "Wah!" and cover her ears. "I am so sick of cooking all the time! Why can't we go out to dinner just once-"

"Well, you know Misuzu's condition-"

"She'd be fine if she just ordered a friggin' food dish!"

"Fine! We need to save money, got it? That's the real reason! We need to pay for your treatments-"

"So how about helping me out some more if I'm so effing fragile!"

"You're being treated for a disease, that doesn't mean your completely-"

"You know what? Forget-"

"Forget it!" Papa yelled simultaneously, and Mama stormed out of the house. Papa paused, groaned, looked sad and angry, and reluctantly got up and went out of the apartment too. He didn't even put his shoes on.

Misuzu didn't get to have Papa read her dinosaur book.

Misuzu stayed home alone that night.

Misuzu didn't like being home alone.


	4. The Third Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: Thanks for reading, everyone! I have a few more chapters typed up, but I will try to update one of my stories once every two weeks from here on out. It makes it less stressful for me, somehow. The "chapters" from now on will definitely be slightly longer than drabbles, but still be drabble-like (if that makes sense).  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE THIRD SUMMER**

If Misuzu could be anything, she'd be a bird. She'd fly and fly and fly, away from all the misery and loneliness that was her life.

Mama sometimes talked about Aunt Haruko with Papa. They sometimes talked about how Aunt Haruko was starting to really save and she might be able to buy her own place soon. They sometimes said, "Misuzu is her godchild, after all. She could take her in."

Misuzu didn't want to live with Aunt Haruko. Even if she was really, really, nice, she'd get tired of her. But...but Misuzu wasn't wanted by Mama or Papa, was she?

Sometimes, they noticed her listening. Mama would make a really bright smile, saying, "Eat your food, Misuzu. It's good."

Papa would sometimes put a hand on her head, strong and father-like.

Misuzu would smile and go back to eating. She would still feel a bit uneasy, but she smooshed it down inside her, and just enjoyed the niceness.

Right now, though, dinner was silent. Mama kept sounding like she had run a lot. Papa was starting to smoke at the table. Mama wasn't scolding him anymore.

Misuzu twirled her noodles around, wondering if she could build a plane. She could make one that soared all the time when she was a grown-up. Yeah, that'd be fun. She could invite everyone up in her Flying Castle. Everyone would leave behind their sadness and just smile and smile. Misuzu would have a lot of friends if that happened. Plus, she could invite Mama and Papa to fly.

Would they smile there?

"U-um!" Misuzu said, wincing at how loud her voice sounded in the sea of silence. Her parents didn't seem to notice her. She continued. "Um, uh, how do you build an airplane?"

"Eat your food, Misuzu."

"...Okay."

Misuzu slurped up her noodles, and Mama got mad at her for being so improper. Misuzu hated being scolded.

"...What kind of airplane do you need?"

Misuzu nearly dropped her chopsticks. She looked at Papa excitedly. "Um, uh, one that's _reaaally _big, so that lots of people can fit in it."

He nodded, smiling slightly as he blew out smoke. "What else?'

Misuzu babbled on, throwing out colors and describing how you'd be able to see the entire sky and how pretty it would be.

Mama said, "Heeeeh? Sounds a lot like a blimp. Are the parts of blimps where people are even all that big?" she asked Papa.

"Who knows, but you can make one that is that big, Misuzu, once you're grown up."

Misuzu laughed happily. If she was sure they wouldn't mind, she would definitely jump up and give them the biggest hugs ever.

Yes, she would build one.

Then Mama and Papa and Misuzu could be happy always.


	5. The Fourth Summer

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FOURTH SUMMER**

Mama was in a hospital.

Misuzu didn't like it. She had to go to hospitals a lot, and didn't mind it so much anymore when it was for her, but she hated seeing Mama with tubes hooked up to her. Mama always looked like she hurt all over.

Misuzu had to go to the daycare now. On the first day Mama was at the hospital, Papa knelt down and told her, "Mama's having a hard time right now, so you have to be strong now. Misuzu's a strong girl, right?"

She didn't think so. She was always sick and felt sad all the time. But for Papa's sake, she smiled and said, "Mmm! Misuzu-chin's a strong girl! V!"

Papa blinked. "Where did you learn that from?"

"'V'? Mama told me that this," she held out her fingers in a V-formation, "is supposed to be a cool sign and said that it looks like a 'V', like in, um..." Misuzu scrunched her face up, trying to think of the English word. "Ah! Pikori!"

"You mean 'Victory'? Yes, it can mean that. Did she tell you what 'victory' means?"

"Mmm. It means winning something after a tough fight."

"Right. So go in there and have your victory."

Misuzu nodded excitedly, waving goodbye to Papa as he walked away. Then the teacher led her into the daycare.

Misuzu preferred not to remember what happened next.

"Weird girl, weird girl!"

"Mom told me not to play with you!"

"What a baby!"

"Move, ugly!"

When Papa picked her up, she was sitting in the corner, playing with a doll. They walked to the hospital, where some lady with a long ponytail stopped them.

"Keisuke, hey. Just got here. I figured I'd go in with you guys."

"Hi, Haruko. Misuzu, you remember Aunt Haruko, don't you?"

Misuzu looked up at the lady. She sort of looked like Mama, but she looked more fun, somehow. Maybe a little nicer.

The lady glared at Papa. "Why are you teaching her to say 'Aunt'? Ya want me to kill ya? Hi, Misuzu." She looked at Misuzu, who began feeling a little nervous. The lady smiled big. "You can just call me Haruko, Haruko-san, Haru-chan, whatever ya want. Just don't call me 'Aunt'. It means the same thing as 'old lady', you know? Ah, but you probably don't remember me, do you? Last time we met was when you were born."

"Ah!" Misuzu suddenly stood like a soldier, making her aunt go, "Hmm?" "I'm Kamio Misuzu! It's very nice to meet you!" She did a deep bow. The grown-ups watched her as she stayed in that position, before she began to tilt towards the floor.

"Whoa there!" Aunt Haruko cried, catching her with a laugh. Misuzu hadn't had anyone laugh around her before, unless they were making fun of her. This wasn't a mean laugh though; it was very nice. It was nice and cuddly, like her stuffed dinosaur at home. "Careful! Clumsy, though, aint'cha?"

The group went into Mama's room. Misuzu didn't remember what Mama said, but she liked watching Aunt Haruko try and cheer everyone up.

Misuzu decided she liked Aunt Haruko more than dinosaurs.


	6. The Fifth Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: Thank you so much for reading! Especially to DemyxKaoru and GaoGaoStegosaurus. I truly appreciate your support. A few scenes in this chapter are based on brief little shots in the Air Blu Ray opening and a scene in the ADV trailer for Air (I can't recall which actual episode it was from). Also, the second-to-last paragraph is based on the manga.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTH SUMMER**

"Papa?"

"What, Misuzu?"

"Where did Mama go?"

They stood by a tree. Under the leaves was a grave.

"Into heaven."

"Where's heaven?"

"In the sky."

Misuzu looked up, still holding onto Papa's hand. She remembered her dream of everyone smiling in her airplane (or, as Mama had once said, her blimp). She felt lonely and sad, but she stared at the leaf-covered sky and said, "Mama's probably smiling right now, right?"

"Probably."

While Papa didn't sound very happy, Misuzu found a bright grin on her face, stretching her hand out towards the sun. "I think she's happy," Misuzu said, half believing it, half just wanting to cheer up her father. "So we should be happy too!"

"Yeah," Papa said. "I should be happy too."

Misuzu didn't pay attention; she was busy whispering to Mama, in words her father couldn't hear, "Mama, do you still not like me, even if you are happy?"

* * *

They tried living together for almost two months.

Papa told her it was hard to raise her by himself.

Misuzu didn't know what he meant. They hardly saw each other because he worked so much, so she should be easy to take care of, right? But Papa said that because he worked so much it wouldn't be good for her. He had a lot of doctors bills to pay off, he said, and he couldn't worry about raising a kid at the same time. "You cost money," he said with almost a smile, but Misuzu knew it was fake.

So she sat in the car, sleeping most of the time, but often looking outside and watching all the buildings, and then all the mountains, and then the rivers, and then the fields, fly by. Part of her was really excited; she had never left the city before. But a lot of the time she was scared; she didn't know exactly where she was going. Papa had explained in a hurry, but his usually serious look was gone and a desperate and excited look took over. So Misuzu decided to trust him.

Then she saw it.

It was blue and endless like the sky, but it wasn't the sky. It was the ocean, Misuzu knew, and her heart thudded in her chest.

They drove into a neighborhood, and Papa parked on the side of the road. Misuzu knew this was Aunt Haruko's house, and while she felt shy all over again, she was really happy she could see her aunt again!

Sunflowers...a real house...the ocean...and the great big mountains...And the little patch of sky she had grown up seeing had suddenly grown into a huge blanket that covered everything. Even though it was so hot outside, Misuzu could bear it as Papa knocked on the door and she drank in what she saw.

Then...it started getting _really _hot.

"Where is she?" Papa growled after pounding on the door some more. Finally, he tried opening it without her answering, and Misuzu heard him mutter, "Reckless as usual. Why doesn't she lock the door?"

He pulled her in, closing the door. It was a lot cooler, and Papa had finally let go of her hand, which was sweating a lot now. She started walking inside, but suddenly Papa yanked her back, making her cry, "Wah!"

"Don't be rude, Misuzu," Papa scolded. "Take off your shoes. You know better than that."

"S-sorry," she whispered, her face coloring. She was so awful! It didn't matter if she liked Aunt Haruko-er, Haruko-san. _She_ would definitely not like _her_ if Misuzu messed up!

"Go ahead and explore," Papa said once she had finished taking off her sandals. "I'll be talking to your aunt. I'll see you later. Be good."

Misuzu didn't realize that that was his way of saying goodbye. Instead, she nodded obediently and waited until he was out of sight to explore the room with the open door. It was big, bigger than her old room. And there was a bed! She hadn't ever seen a real bed in person before. She'd only slept on a futon.

She heard yells of "Well, _I'm _nearly broke! You think buying all this stuff came easy? There's no way I can look after her!" and "Well, she's driving me crazy! My position at the company's at stake since I have to go home early every day to look after her!" but didn't pay much attention to them. She was too busy looking out the window on her tiptoes and gasping at the sight of the ocean once more.

Eventually, she heard the door slam, and a car drove off. After a while, the sky started turning orange, and Misuzu walked out of the room, spending several minutes in the other rooms before she entered the living room, which led to the backyard. There, Misuzu saw her aunt sitting drinking a big bottle, and Haruko saw her. Misuzu suddenly grew very nervous, and so she held her own hand for comfort.

"Hey," Haruko-san said funnily. "Whatcha doin' all the way over there? Come on in. Looks like we're going to be living together for a while, so we might as well get used to each other."

Misuzu perked up at this. "Why?"

"Huuuuuh? He didn't explain it to you? Well, uh, see, you're, uh, well-Keisuke, I'm gonna effin' kill you next time we meet-er, so, it's for fun!"

"Fun?"

"Uh, yeah! Like, camping!"

"Oh."

There was a silence, but Misuzu didn't know it was what a lot of people called "awkward". She was used to this kind of silent, or really loud yelling. She wasn't used to an in-between.

"So I'll be camping with you?"

"Eh? Ah, yeaaah, it's gonna be so fun! The summer festival's coming up. They have cute stuff you'll like. Have you been to one before?"

Misuzu shook her head.

"No? Ah, well...it's fun!" As if she felt bad, Haruko-san said, "Um, you do know we won't be camping-camping, like in tents, right? I have work and stuff, so-"

"I know-"

"Oh, thank God! I would've felt bad if I let you down!"

"Nihaha." Misuzu shyly smiled, but Haruko-san looked away.

"Do you miss your mom?" Misuzu's aunt asked.

She cocked her head, a little surprised. "Mmm. But...I'm happy! She's in heaven, right? She's happy now, so I should be happy!"

Haruko-san looked at her, and Misuzu wondered if she was surprised now. "What made you think she wasn't happy before?"

Clutching the little dress she wore, the girl answered, "Well, she never really smiled at me. Not like the moms on TV smile. And she was always crying or hurting or mad. You're not supposed to feel any of that in heaven, right?"

Slowly, Haruko-san answered, "Nooo. I guess you don't."

"So," Misuzu cried, a big smile on her face this time, "she's happy!"

Haruko-san stood quickly, then wobbled. Misuzu wondered if it was like when she sometimes got out of bed too quickly and her vision went funny. Her aunt went towards the kitchen, but not before she quickly and rigidly patted Misuzu's head. "I don't know how to make much, but I think it might be edible."

The meal turned out to be very good. It was a quiet dinner-time, but Misuzu didn't feel tense like she usually did. When Haruko-san did talk, she made jokes. Misuzu was so excited about this, she laughed even at the ones that she didn't understand. But there was one thing she hoped for: _I want to grow up really fast while I'm staying here. Then I can reach the stove and Haruko-san won't need to worry about cooking._

* * *

The summer went by fast. Misuzu went to the ocean with her new daycare teacher and the class, but no one played with her since she had already had a crying fit with them. She hated her crying fits. They always made her all alone.

Still, she loved the ocean. She liked how it looked like a moving sky. She couldn't go by herself, though. When she was big, she hoped she could.

* * *

Haruko-san fed her noodles every day. They were really poor-even Misuzu knew that. But it was more comfortable, somehow, than when she lived with Mama and Papa.

Misuzu was thinking this one day when she slept in on a Sunday. Haruko-san was talking on the phone with someone, and she was whispering meanly as Misuzu stepped into the room. Haruko-san didn't seem to notice her.

"What the heck do you mean, Keisuke? You've had some time to get back on your feet now, haven't you? You two only have each other now! ...What, no, she's not being bad! She's an angel! It's not that I want to...Now that's just effing stupid! She lost her mother! She should be with her dad, don't you think! Don't you need her?

"...Of course you have to go. Work hard and do your best and all that."

Aunt Haruko slammed the phone down, and Misuzu squeaked. Her aunt whirled round and saw her standing there. Haruko-san sighed hard and sat on the floor, crying, "Geez, Misuzu, what'm I supposed to do with your crazy dad, huh? Sorry, kid, but you'll be staying with me for a while longer. At least a few more months, I'd say."

Misuzu wondered if she was a bad girl for wanting to cheer. She wanted to rush over and hug Aunt Haruko and thank her lots and lots and LOTS of times. But Misuzu knew she would start crying, so she didn't.

Instead, she asked, "Papa didn't seem to hate me as much as Mama did."

Aunt Haruko, who had been trying to act silly, scared Misuzu by suddenly being very serious. "He's not doing it because he hates you. He's just...grown-ups have a hard time with some stuff, and it's...it's hard to explain. But I honestly don't think he hates you, Misuzu-chin."

Aunt Haruko never lied. She was a very nice and honest person. So Misuzu decided to believe this. "Okay."

Aunt Haruko motioned her over. Putting her hand on Misuzu's forehead, she said, "I thought so. You have a fever. Maybe it's because of the heat. Sorry; I didn't get the chance to fix the air conditioner last week."

So that was why she had slept in so long today. Now that she thought about it, she did feel a little funny. "I don't think it's a bad one this time, Au-Haruko-san."

"I don't think so either. Hang on." When Aunt Haruko came back, she had a small fan in her hand. "Lay your head on my lap. I'll fan you."

Misuzu tilted her head.

"What? Didn't your mama ever do that?"

Misuzu shook her head.

"Well, now you get to experience Haruko-chi's Super Awesome Fanning! Whoo!" Haruko-san cried, waving the fan and making Misuzu's hair fly up, tickling her face.

"Nihaha!"

Misuzu crawled over and, after pausing, laid her head on Haruko-san's lap. The fan was a lot nicer now, making a nice little breeze for her. It felt really good.

Haruko-san was humming a song. It sounded nice.

Misuzu felt herself drift off to sleep. She felt so happy, even though she felt sick too. This was better than all the Mamas and Papas in the world, even the ones on TV.

"Haruko-san?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I call you Mama?"

The fan stopped, and as Misuzu started to wake up some more, she began to worry if she said a bad thing.

Then the fanning started again, and she relaxed. "I don't think so, Misuzu. Your Mama's still your Mama. I'm just...I guess you can call me your new mother. Do...you really want me to be your mom?"

"Mmm."

"...Okaa-san works for me."

"Okaa-san...thank you..."

Misuzu, for the first time in her young life, felt the joy and contentment of having a mother who actually seemed like she liked her. She began to doze off...

A sob.

_Hold it in, hold it in, _Misuzu thought desperately.

A tear.

Now fully awake, Misuzu began to fight harder than she ever had in her life to keep her attack from coming. She couldn't ruin this, she couldn't! She finally had someone who might like her! It was okay if Okaa-san didn't love her! She just needed someone who didn't hate her! Someone who liked her! She had to be strong! Misuzu-chin's a strong girl, V, Misuzu-chin's a strong girl, V...

"_Aaaaaah!_"

* * *

Misuzu didn't like herself very much at all. She always ruined things.

* * *

Misuzu couldn't get Okaa-san (although Okaa-san told her she shouldn't call her Okaa-san, she didn't get scolded when she did, so she kept with it) to do much with her after that.

Misuzu thought the summer festival would fix things. She gazed upon the baby dinosaurs, hoping to have one. She knew that they didn't have much money, but surely...Surely Okaa-san could spare a little bit...

She just pulled her away.

Okaa-san didn't care.

Okaa-san was just like Mama.

It wasn't fair to think. Okaa-san was a lot nicer than Mama, but Misuzu didn't need anything but something to show her that Okaa-san loved her even a little. Maybe they couldn't hug or play or anything, but just one little toy...If she had that baby dinosaur, if she had _anything_ from Okaa-san...

Misuzu struggled to keep her tears back as they walked down the hill.

* * *

Summer ended. Misuzu wanted to give up.

She really, really wanted to give up.

No.

She couldn't.

She needed to keep trying.

Okaa-san forgot her birthday, but maybe next year she'd remember.

Okaa-san didn't get her the baby dinosaurs, but maybe she'd like her enough to get her that one thing next summer.

There was a chance.

She just needed to work harder.

She grinned in the mirror, practicing her smiling as she always did.

Okaa-san might love her, maybe, someday. She just needed to do her best to be lovable.


	7. The Sixth Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: More scenes that are manga-based. Thank you again for the reviews!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE SIXTH SUMMER**

"Hi, I'm Kamio Misuzu!"

"Hiya!"

"Hello!"

Smile.

Grin.

Beam.

Now to practice laughter.

"Nihaha!"

"Nihahahaha!"

"Hee hee!"

Okaa-san passed the bathroom door, quirked her eyebrow, but said nothing.

Okaa-san probably knew Misuzu needed the practice. It was hard pretending to be normal after all.

Being in daycare was bad enough, but a lot of families had their kids stay with them all day. However, Misuzu knew that after this summer, then fall, then winter, spring would come, and since she would be six, she'd have to start..._first grade_.

Someone who didn't know her might laugh, or, if they were a grown-up, pinch her cheek and say, "Oh, silly, it won't be the end of the world!"

But to Misuzu, it felt like it could be.

First grade meant that she'd have to be around _everyone _her age. And then there would be other people in the school, all the way up through the sixth grade. She _couldn't _embarrass herself in front of all those people! She already knew kids could be mean, and she imagined with severe trembling the whispers that would go around after an attack. She wouldn't even have the chance of befriending an older student! The rumors would be all over the school!

For someone so young, Misuzu was well aware of the cruelty, inadvertent or not, of people and the ruinous impact of being talked about. She needed to be stronger. She needed to avoid this terrifying future.

"Hello, I'm Kamio Misuzu!"

She smiled absently at the mirror, but her expression faded as she focused on her reflection.

Her hair was getting longer, drifting down almost to the middle of her back. As it grew, her hair straightened a bit, and Misuzu found she missed the waviness of her bob-like hairdo. Maybe people would like her if she was prettier?

Misuzu paused, breathed in and out, then went onto the porch, where Okaa-san sat, sipping sake.

"Um..."

Okaa-san, who had been absently humming what she called her "day-off song", glanced at her.

Painful memories of the dinosaur babies returned to her. To be dragged away, to be unheard...Misuzu's heart hurt. It made her mouth shut and lips shake, even though she was trying her best to speak and smile.

"Um..."

Okaa-san looked away for a second. Then: "DAAAAH!"

Misuzu jumped a little, but not as much as she would have a year ago. She was getting used to Okaa-san's loudness. It was kind of fun, too.

Okaa-san whipped around, spilling her drink a little. "Misuzu, do you realize what stupid ol' me did? I forgot to buy toilet paper!"

Misuzu blinked. "Eh? Don't we have some in the closet?"

Okaa-san paused, then clenched her fist. "That's what's so awful about it. I got the wrong brand. There's one that I want to try, that's supposedly..." Okaa-san jumped to her feet, and declared, as if she were an anime character, "TEN TIMES AS SOFT!"

"Wah," Misuzu said, extremely impressed with both the quality of the brand and the delivery of the speech.

"Which means..." Okaa-san pointed at Misuzu. "We must make a run to the convenience store!"

"Yay," Misuzu chirped with a grin. No further exclamation was needed; Okaa-san had enough energy for the two of them.

As she ran to get her shoes, she thought she heard Okaa-san say, "I don't know what that sister of mine was talking about. I don't think anyone could have an easier kid to raise." It went in one ear and out the other; Misuzu had spotted a little squirrel outside one of the windows and that had arrested her full attention.

"It's so cute!" she cried, just barely reaching the handle to slide open the door. Before she could even take a step, though, the tiny creature dashed away. This got Misuzu to thinking.

"Okaa-san," she called as her aunt/mother entered the room and threw on her sandels. "Can you teach me how to sing pretty?"

"Why?" Okaa-san asked, her eyebrow shooting up.

"Because...because in all the movies, princesses get animals to come to them by singing pretty. I want the squirrel to come back."

"Well, besides the fact that I can't sing to save my life," she muttered, then said in a louder, more dramatic tone, "Misuzu, a power like that can't be wielded carelessly. Imagine if you lured it back. We can barely buy ramen for the week. What if you had to take care of a pet? Worse yet, what if you lure over a _huuuuuge _swarm of them? Then where would we be, huh?"

"On the streets," was the answer which now came naturally to Misuzu.

"Right," said Okaa-san, giving her a thumbs-up. "So no pet squirrels."

They started off, the heat feeling like it was coming both down from the sun and up from the road. Misuzu felt sandwiched in, and her long hair didn't help, either. Her neck felt all sweaty and yucky.

But Misuzu could be okay with the summer hotness, because somehow it always seemed that the hotter the day, the more the sea sparkled. Misuzu never understood why people on TV always needed diamonds and everything. Those cost a lot of ramen sets. Wouldn't they be happier if they just lived by the ocean? Then they could see all the sparkles they wanted, and it was cheaper.

Okaa-san didn't hold hands with her while they walked, but that was okay, because Misuzu hadn't reached her hand out to be held. They walked down together but solitarily, and it was just as well, because the more they walked, the more sweaty and yucky both felt.

The convenience store, thank goodness, had the air conditioner on. Misuzu wondered why it was called that. It only made the air feel cooler, not softer, like her conditioner did to her hair. All it did was spit air out, and that felt almost a little hard, not soft. And the air, as far as she knew, didn't have any tangles in it that needed straightening out. It was very puzzling to her.

"Ah, welcome!" the lady at the register said, and while Okaa-san looked around, Misuzu dashed off to look at the hair supplies. She could get little scrunchies, or barrettes, or all sorts of things. She liked the ribbons the best though.

She looked at the price.

Right away, she put them back, shamefaced. She knew she cost money. Papa had said so. She couldn't cost any more.

Misuzu could be really demanding sometimes.

Look at how selfishly she had acted about the baby dinosaurs!

"Whatcha lookin' at?"

"Wah!" Misuzu cried, spinning around to see her mother...aunt...whoever, who was gazing at the ribbon Misuzu had just put down.

"Did your hair start bothering you?" Okaa-san asked, still looking at the ribbons.

"Ah, um, a little...I don't need anything, really!"

"Do you want a haircut? I-"

"No!"

Misuzu surprised herself, and when she looked at Okaa-san's face, she could see that she was surprised, too. Blushing, she looked down at the ground, then back up and laughed. "Nihaha. It's just, hair places are expensive. I'm okay."

Okaa-san looked back up. "Yeah. They are expensive. Misuzu, which one do you like better, just for curiosity's sake?" She held up a red ribbon and a white one, which were the cheapest ones, Misuzu later realized.

"The white..."

"Hah? Why white? Isn't red more colorful?"

Misuzu paused. "It reminds me of clouds...and angel wings?"

Okaa-san stared again, but then she laughed loudly. "You say some pretty strange stuff sometimes, Misuzu-chan. C'mon, let's go buy a few of the white ones..."

"Wait! But...!"

"I'm not going to have my niece going around looking like a hobo. She's going to look stylin' like yours truly, or have her hair cut to a normal length. I don't have time to cut your hair, kiddo, and money doesn't grow on trees, so a hair cut all the time is out of the question for now until I get a raise and/or have enough saved up at the bank. Ribbons are cheaper than haircuts and you can reuse them, too."

Okaa-san quickly left and paid for the ribbons, leaving Misuzu behind, gaping open-mouthed at her mother. A smile slowly grew on her small face, her eyes positively lit up, and she did a little skip. Okaa-san was actually about to buy her something!

"Oh my," said the cashier lady, laughing. "Your daughter is so adorable!"

"Yeah, she is pretty cute, isn't she?"

Misuzu immediately stopped her little dance. Instead, she went to berating herself mentally, thinking, _You're going to look ugly with those hair ribbons. Okaa-san's going to be embarrassed of you. Okaa-san said that only to be nice. She doesn't mean it._

Because Misuzu had never been so happy in her life than she was in that moment when Okaa-san not only bought her something, but also admitted that she was cute and never corrected the lady (who, being a newcomer to the town, which was developing then, did not know the real relationship between Kamio Haruko and Kamio Misuzu), who had said that Misuzu was her daughter.

**AIR**

A little after that, they started getting school supplies. Actually, Okaa-san just yelled at Papa on the phone to pay for the supplies and ship them over because she was too busy working her (censored) off and she barely had enough time to come home and sleep, let alone grab all this stupid stuff the school asked them to have.

"Thank you!" Okaa-san finally exclaimed, flinging the had that wasn't holding the phone up in the air. "All right. So send them as soon as you can. I'll mail you the list. Fax? You need money for a fax machine. Is using an actual letter okay for someone in the late 20th century? Okay. Well then, I'll talk to you soon, hopefully. You wanna talk to your dau-Hello? Hello? Hey! Stupid! You hung up before talking to your own friggin' daughter! It's been a year! Idiot!"

Okaa-san threw the phone down. She glanced at the clock, then again. "Oh, crap, I am going to be late! I'll have to break a few speeding laws-ah, Misuzu, don't do that when you drive, that's bad-okay, have a good night! Take-out's in the fridge! Bye!"

"Okaa-san!" Misuzu called, her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

"What?" shouted Okaa-san from the door.

"I thought you said you had a backpack from first grade still."

"I do but I don't have time to look for it so sorry Misuzu but you'll have to settle for whatever your papa buys you okay so see you bye!"

The door slammed shut, and soon Misuzu heard the bike roar to life and speed away.

Misuzu was sad again. She had to eat alone again, but more importantly, she had been hoping having her brave Okaa-san's backpack would give her strength, like a good luck charm.

Her eyes flickered to her reflection in the window, and she found her sadness melting away. The white ribbons would be her good luck charms. School would definitely be okay.


	8. The Seventh Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: Movie reference thrown in there. Also, foreshadowing!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE SEVENTH SUMMER**

She was wrong.

School was awful.

It was worse than daycare.

The kids from her daycare told others to stay away from her, because she had the "crying cooties". They called her a freak.

The schoolwork was hard, too. Why did she need to know how to subtract? She wouldn't dare throw away any of her things; they all had some memory or another, and it would be wasteful, since she hardly had anything at all.

Okaa-san was making a little more money now. She didn't get back till really late, but Misuzu was getting good at staying up for her. Still, they had to be careful. Most of Misuzu's few stuffed animals came from sympathetic neighbors who surprised her with one when she passed by on her way to school. Okaa-san said something about how maybe it wasn't good manners to take all these toys and how they should have their pride, but Misuzu was glad Okaa-san forgot about that like she forgot about everything else. It meant Misuzu could keep the toys.

Okaa-san started giving Misuzu 100 yen a week as an allowance. Misuzu did learn something from addition: If she saved her money for five weeks, 100 plus 100 plus 100 plus 100 plus 100 equals 500, which meant she could buy a stuffed animal, and if she did that, she could get her very own dinosaur!

This fifth week coincided with the last week of school before summer break. Misuzu thought about her ribbons and thought maybe she should be brave. There were some people that weren't quite as mean as everyone else. Maybe she could make a friend?

She approached a little girl in class with short hair. She was jealous. It was the color of the ocean. "Uh, um, Kirishima-san..."

Kirishima-san was a little weird too, since she always wore a ribbon around her wrist. Maybe that was her good luck charm? Oh, that would be something they could talk about! This might actually work-

Kirishima-san looked at her, tilting her head a little.

Misuzu panicked, then realized that she was wasting all those practices in front of the mirror. A sweet smile spread on her face, and she said, "Um, if it's okay, did you want to go with me to pick up a stuffed animal? I-if you don't want to, that's fine, I just thought it might be...nice..."

Kirishima-san grinned. "That sounds really fun!"

Misuzu's smile grew even sweeter, and she was about to say, "Yay!" when Kirishima-san added, "But you know, Kamio-san, I'm not feeling very good today. Sorry!"

Misuzu's smile fell just slightly. "Nihaha, that's okay," she said, waving her hand in front of her face. "I just wanted to ask. I hope you feel better, Kirishima-san!"

She walked off, almost happily.

The truth was, she actually really did feel pretty content. Kirishima-san was pretty nice about saying "no".

Misuzu stayed after school a while, lying up on the roof. Summer vacation had now officially arrived. The rays of the sun warmed the rooftop, but not painfully. She would miss going up onto the roof during lunch. She usually sat near the door so she wouldn't make a group of girls and boys who talked up here feel unomfortable. Now, though, everyone had quickly left to enjoy their first moments of freedom, so Misuzu had the entire sky to herself.

She must have fallen asleep, because she thought she saw her mother, her birth mother. She thought of her crying, like she often did, saying, "It's all your fault, you little parasite. Because I gave birth to a kid I didn't even want, I have to die? I can't even stand to look at you!"

Then she thought of how distant her papa always seemed. She hadn't talked to him in two years. That was an eternity to a child. Did he ever think about her?

His face appeared in her mind's eye. He said nothing to her. She saw her own arms, looking smaller than they did at age seven, but maybe more fitting for someone around two years of age. Her hands held a dinosaur book, and she held it out beseechingly to Papa. He didn't once look back.

Then she dreamed about her new mother. She was crying, because her class hated her and her parents hated her and she killed Mama and...

And Okaa-san laughed and held her hand out.

And in a second, she was laying down, an arrow through her chest.

Misuzu's eyes whipped open, her heart pounding. She sat up, wiping the sweat and tears from her face.

"That was a weird dream," she said with a shiver, hugging her legs. The sky was bright orange now. She must have been asleep for a long time.

Misuzu hopped up and quickly ran downstairs, aching to see Okaa-san, as if she could protect her and thank her. As she ran, though, she forgot the dream, but she still wished 11 o'clock would come so Okaa-san could come home.

"Ah!" she cried, pausing and promptly tripping. She had forgotten to buy her doll!

The store was almost closed, but she pounded on the door until they saw that it was a small girl.

"I'm sorry, but we're closed," said the manager, a bit helplessly.

She flung herself into a bow. "Please! I just want to buy a stuffed dinosaur toy! Pretty please!"

"Just that?"

Misuzu nodded feverishly.

The manager twisted his mouth, then reluctantly agreed. Misuzu ran in, automatically spotting the little green one she had been eyeing for the past five weeks.

"Yay! No one bought it!" Misuzu cried, skipping with it to the counter. She importantly handed over the 500 yen and received the toy and a ruffling of her hair, which messed up her ponytail a little bit.

"Ahahaha! If only my kids were ever so cute! You enjoy that toy, all right?"

"Yes, sir!"

She clung to it tightly as she skipped home, her heart soaring with happiness. She fell asleep before her Okaa-san came home, finding herself lying under the covers in her bed, even though she fell asleep at the table. Her toy was right next to her, and she cuddled with it happily.

She played with it as she would have played with a friend all summer. Never had she been happier since school started, because if she looked at it a certain way, since Okaa-san was the one who gave her the allowance, Misuzu figured it would be okay to let this count as Okaa-san buying her something fun for the first time ever.

Misuzu was too happy to be lonely that summer.


	9. The Eighth Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: Misuzu makes me wanna hug her. So bad.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE EIGHTH SUMMER**

It was the last day of school before break again, the day when everything began and ended. Misuzu always felt funny on this day. It was as if her normal life as a weird girl, her normal awkward existance, faded, and instead she entered a new world full of possibilities.

She didn't know what was special about summer. Perhaps it was the way the sun took its sweet time-and sweet it was-sliding across the sky. Perhaps it was that the sky seemed a more vibrant hue than usual. There was the music of the cicadas, the way the ocean was now warm enough to venture into, the way everything was a lovely shade of green and life, yet Misuzu was certain that something else was behind it.

The truth was, she often felt like she wasn't entirely..."here". She felt everything sharply, she struggled hard, yet there was no doubt in her mind that indeed, a part of her was...

Up in the sky?

This was the only time before the fifteenth summer, the thousandth summer, that Misuzu felt this connection with the girl in the sky. And it was quickly lost, as she heard the screech of tires outside the window.

Okaa-san was here. Misuzu wearily opened her eyes, although she had not fallen asleep. Was it bad of her to be happy that Okaa-san always came so quickly? Surely it couldn't be too bad that she was happy, since she only liked that it showed Okaa-san cared.

"Ah, that must be your mother, Misuzu-chan," said the nice nurse. "How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy," Misuzu breathed. "And I feel weak."

"Well, at least your attack didn't bring about a fever like it did last time, hmm? Plus, now you don't have to worry about missing more school, what with summer vacation finaly being here."

"Mmm," Misuzu affirmed, turning her head to the door, waiting for Okaa-san. Always waiting.

"Do you have any fun plans for the summer, Misuzu-chan?"

"No, ma'am."

"Just playing with your friends at the beach, then?"

Now, Misuzu turned slightly to face the nurse. Her smile, which now came fairly naturally when she felt sad, appeared, "I don't have any friends. They don't like me because I have weird crying fits."

The nurse's cheery smile fell. "Misuzu, I don't think many people actually dislike you. I think a lot of people are just scared about what they don't understand. Has your mother taken you to see some doctors about it?"

"A few. Papa paid for it. They say I'll grow out of it."

"...You don't believe you will, do you, Misuzu." It wasn't a question, just an observation.

"I hope they're right, but I'm scared they're not."

The nurse pat her head affectionately. "You're a very brave little girl, Misuzu. I'm sure if you just hold out a little longer, you will finally be able to have the happy childhood you deserve."

"Nihaha," said Misuzu with a genuine smile.

"But you know," said the nurse, turning her swivel chair back and forth, "I think a lot of kids actually want to be friends with you."

This grabbed Misuzu's attention. "Eh? R-really?"

"Mmm! A few kids come in after you go home from an attack, asking if you'll be all right, or how long you're going to be gone this time. Several of the children really care about you."

Misuzu's heart swelled with the idea. People cared? About her? Tears rushed to her eyes, but her thoughts about being brave were gone.

"Ah, another attack?" the nurse demanded urgently.

The door slid open, and in walked Okaa-san, who, Misuzu never knew, had been listening in for quite some time. "Misuzu, are you all right?"

"I-I'm okay. I'm just, oh, Okaa-san, I'm so ha-happy! I thought everyone...hated me! But...but a lot of people are just scared of making me cry! It's because they like me that they stay away! Oh, I'm so happy! Really, really happy!"

Misuzu was too busy wiping her eyes to see what caused the warm spot on her forehead, but as she her tears slowed to a stop, she gingerly brought fingers up to feel the spot. Then she realized that Okaa-san had suddenly begun talking to the nurse about a lot of stuff, mostly about her but also about random stuff. Did that mean...Did Okaa-san kiss her? Was that a kiss? She'd never been kissed in her life! Mama and Papa had never once kissed her, but Okaa-san...!

_Careful_, she told herself urgently, feeling another attack creeping up. Okaa-san only did that to show off in front of the nurse and show what a good mom she was (this felt like complete cruelty and utter blasphemy, and she hated herself for thinking of something so ugly and awful and completely unforgivable, but while she apologized to Okaa-san mentally, she knew it was needed).

Soon, Misuzu found herself being carried by Okaa-san, and both of them were thanking and saying goodbye to the nice nurse. As they left, Okaa-san asked, "Misuzu, do you eat a lot during dinner?"

"Eh?"

She was starting to feel a little exhausted again.

"You're really light."

"Nihaha."

"NOT 'nihaha!' What would your dad think if...?

Okaa-san didn't bother finishing, and Misuzu knew better than to answer. Neither thought that Papa would care very much if Misuzu ate well or not.

"I eat good," Misuzu then said. "I always warm up stuff that you bring home, Okaa-san. And...and someday, when I'm not so short, I'll make us real meals, things that'll be really yummy!"

"Aaah, stop it, you're making my mouth water!" drawled Okaa-san.

"Nihaha!"

They arrived at the motercycle, gleaming in the summer sun. Okaa-san put the small helmet with dinosaurs on Misuzu's head, fastening it as she said, "Safety first!"

"Safety first!" Misuzu parrotted.

"Ah, hey, it's really hot out here. Did you want me to get you a drink? We can stop at the vending machine. Or do you need to go straight home?"

A little nibble of guilt was sinking into Misuzu's stomach. "Um...do you...need to go back to work? Right away, I mean?"

Okaa-san looked at her cautiously. "Why? Why does it matter?"

"Um...'cause...'cause if you're not in too much of a rush, then maybe we could stop real quick for something to drink? I saw something pink before."

The nervous look disappeared, and Okaa-san grinned hugely. "Well, alrighty then! Let's go get ourselves a drink! But boy, Misuzu-chin, you really do like pink, don't you?" she teased.

"Of course!" Misuzu cried as loud as she could for someone rather worn out. "Pink's pretty and cute and...fluffy fluffy!"

Okaa-san laughed hard. Misuzu liked it when she laughed and wasn't avoiding her like everyone else. "How the heck is a color fluffy? You're crazy, kid! All right, to the vending machine!"

"Yay!"

"Hold on tight, 'kay?"

"'Kay!"

Misuzu snuggled against Okaa-san's back-this was the only way she could hug Okaa-san without getting too close 'motionally-and the two sped off. The speed used to scare Misuzu, but now she really loved it. It was what she imagined flying was like; if she didnt hold on to Okaa-san tightly, she would become one with the clouds.

Okaa-san was saying something. Even though she drove carefully when Misuzu was with her, it was still going fast enough to make it hard for Misuzu to reply.

"What?" she called, her throat hurting.

"I said, 'Do you want to see your dad this summer?'"

Misuzu's heart froze. Because of this shock and because she was steadily losing her strength from her earlier attack, her grip slipped a bit.

Finally, they arrived at the vending machine. The school was really close by, but to Misuzu it seemed like hours since they left. Misuzu was about to slide off and sit on the bench when Okaa-san said in a weird voice, "Hey, Misuzu, what do you think about your papa?"

Once upon a time, she had loved him. That she knew. Just like she had loved Mama. And maybe she would now, if she thought they loved her. But it was three years now since Papa had left her. Despite how lonely she sometimes was, even with Okaa-san around, she sometimes cried at night, missing Papa at first, and then wondering what she had done bad that made him leave her, and then what she could do to fix it. Now, as the anniversary of her living with Okaa-san crept around the corner, Misuzu found she had no desire to go back to that sad and lonely city with so many people she could never be friends with.

But Misuzu didn't say any of this to Okaa-san. For one, it was apparent to her that it was a terrible thing to say you didn't love your papa, or your dead mama. She felt mean and not grateful. Besides, even though she didn't know when, Papa was probably going to come again to take her back, so she probably should try to get along with him, right?

On a more subconscious level, though, Misuzu was also terrified of scaring away Okaa-san by saying she loved her and not her real parents.

"Papa's Papa," was all Misuzu said. Okaa-san didn't ask her to talk about it anymore, and instead she bought a coke for herself and a pink juice, which Okaa-san said was ultra-thick peach juice, for Misuzu.

Misuzu sipped. Then she tried it again. Her face squinched up (Misuzu knew she made up a word with that, but that seemed like the only word she could use to describe it). Her face started turning blue.

"Misuzu! Breathe, dummy!"

"Baaah!" gasped Misuzu, a little cutely to some older women who were passing by. "That's weird. It's weird juice, Okaa-san, it's not...!"

She squeezed, a little frustrated.

"Wah! Some juice came up the straw, see?"

"Huh. Weird."

Misuzu sipped it happily. "It's yummy!"

"Hey."

Misuzu looked up at Okaa-san, who was taking a swig of her coke. Then: "Wanna stay with me this summer? I don't think they have this brand of juice in the city."

Misuzu nodded. "'Kay."

Misuzu made sure to drink lots of juice that summer to show her thanks.

And it turned out okay, because from what she overheard Okaa-san saying to Papa on the phone, Papa didn't even know about the possibility of a summer visit, so that meant Misuzu didn't hurt his feelings.

Papa's feelings were never hurt by Misuzu.

Were Okaa-san's?


	10. The Ninth Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: These chapters are getting longer than I thought they would be. Thanks, Camp NaNoWriMo! Do you like the longer length?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE NINTH SUMMER**

Misuzu missed the last day before break this year. She missed the last two weeks before, actually. Bedridden and terribly weak with fever, Misuzu still found the strength to wave to Okaa-san through the window before she drove away to work and to watch her classmates walk to school, then walk from it later on in the day. She enjoyed seeing the smiles and growing excitement on the children's faces, all awaiting the promise of summer vacation. The only difference from the students from last year, besides growing a little, was the fact that there were fewer of them. With the train line shutting down and other things that Misuzu didn't really understand happening, a lot of people ended up moving away. In a good way, it meant that a lot of the really mean kids went with their parents. In a bad way, it meant there were fewer nice people, too.

Misuzu hugged her stuffed animals, three of them now. Much of the rest of the money either went into her piggy bank, which Okaa-san had informed her was for high school and college ("Does this mean I'm going to live with Okaa-san until I'm so old?" Misuzu wondered aloud later, twirling a T-Rex around her room) or was put to use as field trip money. Misuzu, unlike most children, was happy that the money was being put to use for important things instead of toys, even though she adored them. She would have felt awfully guilty if all she could do with her money was spend it on more dinosaurs instead of helping pay her way, since Okaa-san worked so hard for the both of them.

Right now, it was raining. Misuzu managed to get a little snack before collapsing back into bed. The chill in the air wasn't helping her illness clear.

"It's so lonely," she whispered to her little prehistoric friends, tightening her grip on them. Okaa-san only left because she needed to work hard, she knew. She was expensive, after all. "You cost money," Otou-san said before he got rid of her. Okaa-san had to pay now, even though Otou-san did help out when he could.

Okaa-san said once that Otou-san would take her home again someday. That was nearly four years ago now. Okaa-san never mentioned it anymore. From what she...what was the word...eardropped on (Misuzu never understood that word. Why would anyone say they were dropping their ears?), which was very easy since she was good at being invisible, Okaa-san mostly never spoke to Otou-san anymore; she usually had to leave messages when she did call and he didn't usually call back.

Misuzu munched on her pudding, a rare treat in the house, wishing she could understand why she was such a weird girl. She was so weird that her parents never liked her. If only she could at least understand why she cried!

"It's good," she said to her little friends, smiling falsely as she swallowed. Then she dropped it, remembering that there was no one around to see her fake it.

No one around.

All alone.

She shivered, and not just because of the chilly air.

The rain slowly ceased, and Misuzu turned to look out the window. A little patch of blue was starting to shine through. Immediately, her heavy heart seemed to lighten, if only for a second. And then, despite her seemingly inconquerable lethargicness, she jumped up and threw open the window, ignoring the slight drizzle that still fell and the strong wind that drove not a few drops onto her face.

Feathers. So many were raining down with the droplets. She reached out to catch one, and just missed. She stuck her head out the window, ignoring the feeling of dizziness, and saw a flock of birds, far larger than any she had seen before, flying away. Did flocks usually drop so many feathers behind them?

And then.

And _then_...

"And then," Misuzu exclaimed the next morning as best she could with her weak little voice, "I saw the most beautiful feather in the world."

"That right?" Okaa-san said, taking her temperature and temporarily quieting Misuzu. "Hmm, looks like your fever's starting to go down a little, now that it's not as cold as it was earlier. We had a late start to summer, too, this year."

Misuzu, like the good girl she was, waited patiently for Okaa-san to remove the thermometer. Once this was accomplished, Misuzu cried, "But yeah, it was gorgeous, Okaa-san! It was pure white, and it was...Oh, Okaa-san, I can't even describe it! It was..." Misuzu paused reluctantly to think of the word that would fit best. "Magical," she finished dreamily.

Okaa-san focused on what Misuzu was saying now. "Heeeh, sounds like you had a nice time yesterday."

"Yeah! It made me feel..." _Not lonely _was how she silently finished that sentence. Out loud, she said, "less bored!"

Okaa-san smiled her gentle smile, the one she gave when she saw through Misuzu, although Misuzu only knew she had been seen through some of the time. "Well, that's good. Must've been some feather!"

"It was! I wish I could show it to you..." Misuzu trailed off, thinking.

Okaa-san took her tray of food to the kitchen, and when she came back with a children's book that she borrowed from the library just before work yesterday, Misuzu was anxiously awaiting her return.

"Okaa-san," she said with a little more energy than she was normally able to muster. "Would you...?" A stricken look appeared on her face, but just as suddenly it was replaced by a smile. "Never mind, I forgot."

_I shouldn't bother Okaa-san_.

"Want me to look for the feather for ya?"

Misuzu's eyes whipped back to Okaa-san's face. They then widened. "Would...would it be okay? Really? I-I mean, I don't wanna be a bother..."

Okaa-san flexed her arms. "Hwaah! Hey, who do you think you're talking to? I may not look it, but I used to be great with feathers!"

"...Eh?"

"Right! When I was a kid playing with your mama, she would go to pet an old neighbor's chicken and then I would run and scare it away. Your mama got so mad at me she said she hoped the chicken would peck my eye out, and I told her, 'Chickens don't scare me! _I _show _them_!' So I caught up with it and ripped off its feathers!"

_Th-that poor birdy! _cried Misuzu mentally. Outside, she only said, "O-Okaa-san."

Okaa-san turned to her and paused, just looking at her. Then she said very seriously, "Don't torture birds."

Had a silver-haired freeloader been around during this scene, he might have cried, "You're throwing in a moral lesson _now_?"

As it was, it was only naive and eager-to-please Misuzu, and she said a little confusedly, "Y-yeah."

"Good girl. Now, I'm off to find some feathers!"

It was a good twenty minutes before Okaa-san returned. Actually, Misuzu didn't notice the time going by, as she had fallen asleep moments after the aunt left. She woke up to the sound of a door opening, and there stood Okaa-san, holding some dark grey and brown feathers.

"Sorry," she said a little sheepishly, but not looking all that sorry with her big grin. "I couldn't find it."

Misuzu nodded, smiling once more. "That's okay. The wind must have blown it away yesterday."

She did not dare say that she had, for some reason, hoped that the feather might bring them together.

Her eyelids were drooping. She was being whisked away to her dreamland again.

"'Kay, well I guess I'll let you rest. Night, Misuzu-chan."

"Okaa-san," she struggled to say.

"Hmm?"

But she had fallen asleep, the "thank you" trapped within her.


	11. The Tenth Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: I think these chapters are going to get a bit less "personal" with Misuzu, a bit more third-person omniscient rather than having more of a look through her eyes. Misuzu's starting to experience things, as seen early in this chapter, that she probably could not really think about clearly. Plus, it works better with my writing style. (I hope.)**

**...And maybe it's slightly because I'm trying to crank these chapters out quickly, and I accidentally realized how Misuzu's becoming less personalized and I'm too lazy to do anything about it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE TENTH SUMMER**

With each passing summer, Misuzu felt as if she were being pulled closer to something, as if she were a dog on a leash who was gently and subtly being tugged closer to her owner until...what? They collided? It didn't feel much like a collision, but an embrace instead. Maybe a more suitable analogy would be a (normal) mother moving to hug her (normal) daughter.

There was something nostalgic in it. Misuzu found herself looking forward to summer's approach more and more each year. It was as if she was...

"It's like I'm finding myself," she whispered into the ear of one of her dinosaurs, a little shyly, but with a distant look in her eyes. Misuzu felt as if she were on the doorstep of a world unseen to others, a world unseen even to herself. And with each passing season, the door grew ever closer. She would someday need to decide if she dared reach out her hand and turn the handle.

Did she even have a choice?

These were deep thoughts for a little girl just turning ten years old. She might not have thought of them in just that way, but the abstract concept of these thoughts were present nonetheless. She occasionally suggested her strange love for summer to Okaa-san, but she only answered distractedly while she drank, saying, "Heeh, who would like smelly, sticky summer over Christmas? Happy New Year!" before passing out.

Okaa-san drank more when she was home now, which was funny, seeing how they were able to buy more stuff now.

(Haruko never let on that the drinking was her way of dealing with the stress of suddenly realizing that for better or worse, Misuzu was, pretty much, her daughter. Keisuke rarely, if ever, volunteered money anymore, and Haruko was making just barely enough to get by without asking him. The only times she did call were to ask when he was coming for his daughter, but slowly those had dwindled down to once every ten months, if that. Another reason for her excessive drinking, besides the stress of working so much, was the fact that it allowed her to tear away from herself, just a little bit, so she could cuddle up with Misuzu or joke with her. If she wasn't completely in her right mind, it didn't seem to cause Misuzu to have any attacks.)

So Misuzu usually kept these things to herself, and she prided herself on her ability to smile even nicer now, even when Okaa-san felt far away from her. She thought it meant she was becoming stronger, or growing up, or becoming independent.

At least, that was what she was thinking.

At school, card games were making a comeback among the children. Misuzu often used it as an excuse to talk to her classmates (although, truth be told, her only comments were "Wah! Amazing!" and "That was close" and last but not least "I think you'll do better next time!". Her classmates' responses always consisted of awkward or genuine or sympathetic smiles, with replies such as, "Thanks, Kamio-san"). Misuzu soon grew to see the game not just as something people in general do, but as something that _friends _do.

As she was walking to the store with her small amount of spending money in July, the clouds were gathering above. They were still white, but thick and full. She wondered if a storm might roll up later that evening. She soon grew so lost in her thoughts that she tripped and landed face-first.

"Gao," she whimpered, brushing off the dirt, gravel, and traces of sand from her face and accidentally whacking herself in the nose while doing so.

A scratch had appeared on her face, and quite a bit of blood was oozing disturbingly from it. The doctor's office had a hose outside, no doubt for Kirishima-san (her classmate, not Kirishima-sensei) to hose off her newfound buddy, a stray dog named Potato, when he came back muddy and panting due to the heat. Misuzu, as no one was around and the sign on the door said OFF TO LUNCH, bowed to air and said, "Excuse me!"

"I'm glad I'm prepared!" she said, her smile becoming a little less watery as she pulled out a handkerchief she kept with her all the time. Okaa-san said it was Mama's back when they were little. She felt that nagging feeling of guilt again, because she wanted something of Okaa-san's more than she wanted something of Mama's.

"Nihaha!" burst from Misuzu's mouth as she turned the faucet on, and a stray trickle of water veered from the usual path into the hose and squirted up at her instead. It felt great, after the heat of the afternoon. She washed her hands off on that miniature fountain and then turned the wheel a bit more so it disappeared.

Her hand squeezed the handle, and out burst a heavy bombardment of water. Tentatively, Misuzu reached out and stuck her handkerchief just barely in it before realizing that she really was dumb; she could have carefully wet it on the funny little fountain instead of in this barrage.

It took only a second for the handkerchief to be sufficiently damp. Misuzu placed the hose respectfully to the side before tending to her wound. It stung a lot.

As she pulled away the handkerchief, she examined it. Crimson blood was on there, not enough to be alarming, but an impressive amount nonetheless. Misuzu shuddered, but then stared at it some more. Her mind grappled with something she did not understand, and her heart whispered a secret about blood, something she did not want to hear, something it knew for some unknown reason. It told her there was too much blood, that she had seen too much blood. Misuzu didn't understand where this was coming from. She fell often, but rarely did blood spill. Mama didn't bleed when she died, so far as Misuzu saw. So why did she feel like blood stained her life?

The moment came to an end when laughter entered her ears. Like a dream, she had woken up from it, and it lay forgotten in some unreachable world-was it behind the door?-although its mark remained on her. Her face felt remarkably pale despite the heat, and her hands shook just a little.

What had turned her attention to the (real?) world was a group of schoolmates sitting around under a tree at the corner of the street, engaged in a game of Rich Man, Poor Man. Misuzu remained unseen, standing as far away as she was, and she heard cries of protest and victory, but overall Misuzu heard only the sweet music of laughter.

Misuzu sat and leaned against the door of the doctor's office. The laughter reminded the subconscious part of her that gripped onto that odd dream-memory that her life was sad and hard, but it was not a nightmare. There were moments like this, when the waves echoed around the empty town (for the town, by this point, really was quieting down as more and more people left over the past year), reminding her she wasn't entirely alone; when birds' songs happily poured forth as they stretched their wings and soared high off into the air, occasionally leaving a treasured feather behind them; when children's laughter, even if her laughter wasn't mixed in with theirs, lifted her spirits and said that one day, she too might be a part of their group.

Then she made the mistake at looking at the sky, and memories of her hard life came back.

Then the ocean became hard and lonely-sounding, the sound sailors must hear before meeting their tragic fates on the seas; the birds' songs became parting words and farewells as they abandoned her; and the children's laughter became sharp and mocking, taunting her with what she did not, could not have, perhaps not ever.

_No, _Misuzu thought suddenly, desperately. _The doctors said I'd probably outgrow it. I'm sure I... I'm _SURE _that I'll be fine, if only I make up my mind to be! Playing cards isn't really a big deal, right? I...I'll definitely be okay!_

The children suddenly were called away, and Misuzu exhaled a large sigh of relief at being allowed to escape from that potentially humiliating and miserable challenge.

"Ah, Kamio, are you feeling all right?"

Misuzu jumped and looked up, seeing the beautiful Kirishima Hijiri-sensei. "Ah, yes! I'm sorry! I was just...I scratched myself, so I used your hose to get my hanky wet. I'm sorry if that was rude of me!" she cried suddenly, bowing.

"You don't need to bow so often, Kamio," said the doctor with a slight smile. "I know your mother and I both prefer to see you happy and at ease. Don't worry about offending people. Just be yourself."

Misuzu played with her hair. "Ah...Mmm, but I still feel..."

Kirishima-sensei leaned closer. "Kamio Misuzu," she said authoritatively.

"Y-yes!"

"It might help your attacks go away if you relax some more."

Whether Kirishima-sensei meant this, or if she was just saying it to get her point across, Misuzu never knew. But she grabbed onto this hope wholeheartedly.

"'Kay!" she cried, grinning big.

Kirishima-sensei didn't look very happy with this attempt-no doubt she thought Misuzu was trying to hard in another way now-but said nothing about it. Instead, she said, "Do you need a bandage for your scratch? It was good to wash the wound right away, but..."

"Nihaha, it's okay, it's feeling better already! I'll go get something when I get home."

"Going anywhere in particular?"

"Ah, to the store."

"Buying more dinosaur toys then?" Sensei asked, smiling again.

"Ye...s..." Misuzu paused. An idea occurred to her, and she thought it might be a wonderful one. "Um, Kirishima-sensei, you don't...have...to play with someone else if you get a set of cards, right?"

Sensei blinked. "No. You can play solitaire. Do you know how to play? The cards might come with an instruction manual for it and some other games."

Misuzu considered this, then nodded. "Okay. Thank you very much, Kirishima-sensei!" She folded her hands and bent halfway into a bow before righting herself straight away, laughing her shy little laugh as she waved instead.

She didn't have any bravery or hope of being able to play with any of her classmates. They knew her too well, and she knew herself too well, but maybe, just maybe, she could have Okaa-san play with her.

The fan greeted her as she entered the store, the breeze causing her hair and skirt to ruffle slightly. "Nihaha," she giggled slightly.

"Ah, Misuzu-chan," said the convenience store manager with a grin. "Here for another stuffed dinosaur?"

Misuzu shook her head. She'd give up another "friend" to risk having a friendship with Okaa-san. "I wanted to look at cards, if that's okay!"

He chuckled. "I thought you might. You kids are all over these things this year. And since I figured one of these days you might be coming for one..." He pulled out a card set. As Misuzu looked at it, she realized they were dinosaur-themed.

"Uwaaah!" cried Misuzu, her eyes sparking with excitement.

"Like 'em?"

"Yeah!"

"Yours for only two hundred yen!"

Misuzu quickly ran around the counter and hugged the man, then quickly gave him the money and took the cards and ran out of the store, her shyness returning to her quickly. Her heart swelled with joy again, and she wondered how she could think life was sad.

* * *

As soon as Misuzu took the game out to play with Okaa-san, she had an attack.

Another step was taken, and the door creeped closer.

Maybe the question wasn't what she would find at the other side, or even if she should open it. Maybe it was just her fate.

Maybe the question was, how should she meet it?


	12. The Eleventh Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: A few more chapters until we arrive at the long-awaited fifteenth summer, which will actually be divided into more drabble-like parts highlighting a scene here and there from the anime. It would pack more of a punch, I think, while preventing it from being nothing but a dull novelization of the series.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE ELEVENTH SUMMER**

"Dango dango dango dango dango daikazoku," Misuzu sang, skipping home from school. She was not upset about everyone running off to play with their friends and leaving her alone. Not at all. She was made of tougher stuff than that. Misuzu-chin was a strong girl, after all. V!

As she passed a tree, a few squirrels caught her eye as they fled up to their hidden homes.

"Ah," she said, looking up at them with a grin. "Is one of you the squirrel I saw near my house a few years ago? It's good to see you again, if you are!"

The squirrel was lucky. It had friends.

Misuzu whipped her hands up to her face and hit her cheeks several times, her eyes squeezed shut even though the blows were more like taps than slaps. "No no no, I am very happy. I am a very happy girl! Even though I might not have any friends right now doesn't mean I won't ever get any friends! That's right! I'm going to be all right someday!" Her eyes opened again, and the blue orbs sparkled with hope, although a passerby might have noticed that just a hint of sadness resided in them as well.

"Off to my favorite spot," she sang then, her hair dancing in the wind behind her as she skipped off again. "Bye-bye, Mr. Squirrel!"

She stopped by, first, at her favorite vending machine, placing in a coin and pausing in a pointless attempt at considering the other choices, as she chose, unsurprisingly, the peach juice. Her grin widened with excitement as it came tumbling out, and her hand happily grabbed the cool beverage.

"Red sky at night, sailor's delight," was what Misuzu had learned at school. It rhymed, which made it easy, but since her head was always in the clouds, it was the one piece of knowledge from school that easily stuck with her.

It was still a while until sunset, which was when Misuzu could test out this old wives' tale. Plus, it was her favorite time of the day, when everything was all lit up and somewhat sad but somewhat hopeful, too, because the sun always came up the next morning, without fail, even if it said goodbye for now. Misuzu had a few hours yet until the sun set. But it gave her a perfect opportunity to play by the beach.

Today there were not families or children on the strip of sand, which was a relief to her. If she was going to be alone, she was going to have fun with it. As usual, Okaa-san would be away at work until around 11, so she had plenty of time to kill.

Kill.

"NIHAHA!" Misuzu suddenly shouted, although one must assume that it was intended to be a cheerful laugh to brush off the suddenly ominous mood. She was having that funny, "I'm Not Acting Quite Like Me" moment again. She needed to snap out of it.

If she was going to manage to get through this long, lonely summer, she needed to just enjoy the simple things in life.

(Even if many of those simple things, such as hand-holding and playing cards with others, were impossible for her.)

Anyway, she couldn't afford to let herself get caught up in those weird thoughts of hers that didn't feel like they belonged to her. She felt like she would lose herself that way, and that wouldn't be good. Not one bit. No, she would be strong, she would be happy, and that was that. She needed to scold herself and be stern with herself, or else she'd lose herself that way, too.

When she thought this way, Misuzu felt very, very fragile.

Misuzu pulled a book out that she needed to read for school. She was sick earlier in the year and had just barely managed to avoid going to summer school. She really lucked out. She was required to do the makeup work over break, though, which was fine with her.

She didn't have anything better to do.

"Gaooooo!" she roared, trying to scare the depression out of herself. After she pretended she had succeeded, she kicked off her sandals and threw off her bag and rushed down the steps, burning her bare feet in the process. In her act of defiance, she hadn't thought exactly clearly; it was a long and scorching walk to the water.

She made it though, and miraculously without tripping. If she was being honest, which she very well could be if she was sure it wouldn't hurt anyone, including herself, she was a little proud of herself.

Misuzu's feet stopped just as the latest wave rolled in, its coolness surprising her enough to make her take a step back.

Above, a seagull cried, and Misuzu looked up and stretched out her hand to the sky, following the bird's trail and pausing her hand to block out the sun.

And strangely, even this moment made her want to cry, like she had just enacted a dream she had always wanted to come true, which was strange, since she always went to the beach.

"Ni...nihaha...today's not my day, huh?" Misuzu stuttered, sighing slightly and hugging herself, as if suddenly cold.

To be honest, deep down, she was becoming a little scared of summer.

Strange things seemed like they were happening. She felt funny. Things seemed to have more meaning for her than they should. Was she just imaginitive? Or...?

"It's the heat. It does funny things to my head," she told herself. It would be nice, though, if there was someone to talk to about these things. _Okaa-san...well, it would be rude to bother Okaa-san, when she just wants to relax when she gets home after working so hard. Plus, she doesn't seem to like..."deep things"._

Misuzu waded in just a bit more into the ocean, feeling a few fish swim past her legs, tickling them and making her truly giggle.

After splashing about for a while, Misuzu went back up the steps (nearly crashing this time in her attempt) and went back to reading while the light lasted. It was a fable about a princess and her adoration for a prince. Misuzu loved reading about princesses. She imagined that no matter how hard _they_ cried, people would still like to be friends with them, if only for the fact that no one would refuse being friends with a rich and powerful person.

Although this mindset might seem filled with jealousy, the truth was Misuzu thought of it only slightly enviously. Otherwise, she was very happy for the princess, and was glad that, despite the pitfalls and drama in the story, she got to have her happily ever after in the end.

Misuzu finished the book with a contented sigh, all thoughts of being someone other than her fading. A breeze wafted through her hair, and she realized it had cooled quite a lot. That meant it was almost time.

Misuzu quickly ran and threw out her long-emptied juice box and bought another one, tripping fully on her way. At least she had never fallen off the stairs before.

Yet.

Misuzu nestled herself on her backpack, as the wall was still very hot, and got ready.

Within an hour, the sun had fully set, except for some sunlight that was creating a pale greenish-blue smudge on the horizon. The show was over, but Misuzu burned the memory into her heart like a comforting fire. It was so beautiful, watching the sunset. She needed to do it more often. And it had been a red evening. Sailors, she was sure, must be delighting, since it suggested that nice weather would come tomorrow. A boat passed by, and Misuzu squinted, as if trying to look for any hat-tossing and dancing aboard.

Misuzu smiled, wishing she could sleep under the stars but knowing that that was only asking for trouble, considering how easily she got sick. Maybe when she was grown up and had her own family, she could go camping.

Misuzu liked this thought. She packed her bag and set off for home, her eyes always on the navy sky, in which a few stars watched her from a great, impossible distance.


	13. The Twelfth Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: I had to look up whether it was "twelfth" or "twelvth". I am a failure.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE TWELFTH SUMMER**

This summer was another step towards that ever-present door. Misuzu felt it deep within her heart...no, not even her heart. Her _soul_. Its strange grasp on her made it seem as if the world, for a season, was nothing but a dream. In autumn she woke up, but with spring's arrival Misuzu always felt herself drift off to somewhere new.

None who saw her thought anything was different about her, although, granted, there were few who really took the time to pay attention. Misuzu's only real noticable difference is that she spaced out a bit more, but again, few paid particular attention to her. And any who did probably attributed it to nothing more than sleepiness from studying for exams.

And that was anothing thing. Elementary school had passed by in a flash. Now she was about to enter junior high. She felt so old and grown-up!

...Although this thought frequently occurred to her when she was lying in her room, playing solitaire with her dinosaur cards and her dinosaur plushies scattered around her and on the shelf.

She was studying, too, of course, although she would just use the escalator system and attend the junior high here at home. It was too far to travel to one of the neighboring towns, which, despite having the title "neighboring", were actually quite a drive away from her remote little town. Her grades were good, considering her, er, health issues. As long as she had the strength, she needed to attend school and then get a good job to help Okaa-san pay the bills, even though they were now pretty well off. Misuzu never forgot her early years when having an extra mouth to feed put such a strain on Okaa-san's bank account. She needed to make it up to her. Plus, if she did, maybe she would get the added bonus of having Okaa-san hug her maybe?

And by that time, maybe Misuzu would be old enough to have outgrown her attacks? In that case, she might someday be able to hug back!

This was the dream Misuzu held on to, the dream where she could hug her mother and tell her "thank you" from the bottom of her heart. Because even though Okaa-san kept her distance, and Misuzu had grown up learning to do the same, she believed that Okaa-san really did like her somewhat. And Misuzu patiently awaited the day when they could act like a real mother and daughter.

Although...Misuzu realized with a bit of surprise that she'd never realized it before. That she'd never realized that Okaa-san had never really adopted her. Misuzu would have had to sign some papers, wouldn't she? Well, probably not, since she was still just a kid, but Misuzu figured she would have been told if she'd been adopted. It had been her own choice to call Aunt Haruko Okaa-san, and Okaa-san had told her not to after her attack. She wouldn't have minded so much if she'd actually adopted her, right?

Misuzu absently hugged her T-Rex. Did this mean Otou-san was going to come back to her? Although she felt like a bad girl for thinking this, she hoped with all her heart that she never saw him again. He brough back too many sad memories, and while things were kind of sad here, too, Misuzu was also happier here than she had been anywhere else. Plus, she knew Otou-san disliked her, while she was pretty sure that Okaa-san liked her.

"Nn, I must be wrong," Misuzu told herself, looking out the window. "Papa-I mean Otou-san was supposed to drop me off just for a little bit. He hasn't come back in...seven years now." This startled her too; she was shocked at how fast time had gone by. "Yeah, it'll be okay. He doesn't like me, so he'll leave me here. He won't get mad at me again, or ignore me. It'll be good."

Misuzu needed to distract herself, even though she was pretty sure she was right. Grabbing a popsicle from the fridge, she sat on the porch in the backyard. The sky threatened rain, but bugs still flew about on their business, bees stopping by the sunflowers and butterflies darting from here to there. As she licked her treat, a sudden gust of wind rolled up, causing her to cry "Wah!" and pull her hair back in a hurry in order to keep it from getting messily tangled into her ice cream.

In that sudden gale, a hat came rolling over the fence and drifted just above Misuzu's head, landing with a gentle thud against the wall on the other side of the room. Misuzu got up and picked it up, blinking in confusion.

The wind died down, but the storm was still on its way. Misuzu needed to be quick. She darted outside, nearly falling but not quite. "Um, hello?" she called, running to the other side of the house and opening the gate.

There was a girl her age-Misuzu assumed she had been in a different class from her throughout elementary school-with beautiful dark hair. Misuzu thought she looked so pretty.

"Ah," the girl said, her hand stretching out to point at the hat.

"Wah!" Misuzu quickly thrust her hand out. "Here you go!"

A moment went by, and Misuzu realized that she had stretched out her hand that held her popsicle. "N-nihaha," she laughed self-consciously, pulling that hand back and stretching out the other.

The pretty girl smiled just a little. "Thank you," she said quietly, taking it and putting it slowly on her head.

_Ah_, Misuzu realized with a start. _This is a perfect chance!_

"Th-that's a really pretty hat!"

The girl bowed a little. "Thank you."

Silence...

"Um, does it keep you cool? It looks like it would. I-it's big, and pretty...I said that..."

"It works well."

"...Oh."

The girl gazed at her evenly, and Misuzu felt a compelling urge to go hide somewhere. "Would you like me to tell you where I got it?" the girl then asked.

"Eh? Ah, mm, sure." _Friendship! _Misuzu cried in her head. _This is how friendship is born! Ah, but careful, me! Careful, careful._

"I got it...in Tokyo."

Misuzu blinked.

"That was a joke."

"Ah-Aaaah, I see! Nihaha!" Translation: "She's so serious! I can't tell if she's kidding or not!"

"I got it in the shop a few blocks down from school. I was ultra-happy when I got it."

"That's...good..." _I'm no good at talking! Keep it together, keep it together..._

Within a second, a downpour began. The two girls jumped slightly.

"Did you want to come inside?" Misuzu called over the roar, believing this would both keep them dry and break the awkwardness, introducing them to the world of card games and chatting and TV-watching, but as she said this, the girl opened an umbrella Misuzu hadn't realized she was holding.

"Thank you, but I will go. Thank you for giving my hat back to me."

"N-not at all!"

"Bye-bye." The girl walked off, her damp hat drooping a bit under the umbrella.

"Ah, bye-bye!"

Misuzu entered the house, sneezing once before she took off her shoes. As she entered her bedroom to change into dry clothes, she looked at her ruined popsicle and sighed miserably.

Despite how horrible she felt, and the fact that this encounter resulted in a nasty fever that lasted the rest of the week, Misuzu couldn't help but decide that she wanted to get a hat just like that girl. Maybe they'd never be able to use it as the common topic they apparently so desperately needed, but maybe...

_It's only because it was pretty_, Misuzu told herself resolutely, taking off her dripping ribbon.


	14. The Thirteenth Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: Only one more chapter after this, and things spiral to an end, or soar up towards a new beginning.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE THIRTEEN SUMMER**

Misuzu felt herself becoming more and more desperate. Why, she didn't know, as usual. She began calling it her "other self" who felt like this.

The sky seemed to be growing bluer, sadder. It stretched from sea to mountain, threatening to engulf her. Or perhaps she would go to it instead.

She grew more envious of the birds, who had freedom to soar as they pleased, where they pleased. She imagined they could go on forever if they wanted to, and she almost never saw them weary or sick.

Misuzu thought of that machine she wanted to make for her birth parents when she was little. She knew now that even if she had succeeded, she was the only one in the world with such a connection to the sky. It would only have made them argue more, being in such a small space.

The pressing desperation made Misuzu act bolder and bolder. Instead of apologizing all the time, she tried to laugh it off a little more. Before summer break began, she started trying to talk to her classmates some more to see if they wanted to play. Junior high had brought a bit more maturity into the students, but not enough for any of them to say, "All right, Kamio-san."

This rejection just made her all the more restless, although she didn't understand why, since it had been this way since she was born.

Would it continue this way until she died?

No, because she would grow up. As she grew up, her condition would disappear. Already she was finding that she had fewer attacks.

She did not acknowledge, even on a conscious level, that this was because she was because she was gently being pushed away by others even more than in the past.


	15. The Fourteenth Summer

**Prettyinpinkgal: Last one before the final summer. And on a more lighthearted note, if you can't figure out what manga Misuzu's describing, you may need to re-evaluate your status as an otaku ;D Just kidding!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FOURTEENTH SUMMER**

Misuzu did not like how junior high was so short.

She felt as if she had just started it, yet already she was halfway done. In high school, she would need to pick which college she wanted to go to. She would need to choose which program she wanted to study. She needed to get a good job to repay Okaa-san.

But the problem was, Misuzu had no idea.

She managed to receive good grades due to sheer determination when studying, but she wasn't particularly good at anything. She enjoyed reading, but was a poor writer. Her artwork made the teachers cough and then move on. Her athletic skills...well, they were obviously nonexistant.

She wasn't too bad at math, but she saw no point in it. She didn't particularly care for science, since to her, it felt like it took the beauty out of things by explaining them away.

"If only I could just get married and stay home and watch over the children," Misuzu said to herself as she sat on the steps of the local shrine, watching the sunlit town sparkle. She realized what she was saying, and laughed. "Well, that won't happen! Besides, I'm doing this to repay Okaa-san! I shouldn't complain! Unless I marry a rich man...Okaa-san would like that..." She thought this over for a second, then laughed again.

There was a slight edge in her laughter.

Just in time, she saw two girls walking up the steps, far below her. Quickly, she ended her giggle and whipped out a manga to pretend to read.

"Eh, Kamio-san?"

"Shh!" the other one quickly said.

Misuzu looked up though, on instinct, but immediately looked away with a blush on her face upon hearing this second comment. The deed was done, though, and she looked up again and smiled before she looked pathetic. "Ah, hello," she said with a bob of her head.

"Uh, yeah, hi."

"What are you doing up here, Kamio-san?" asked the first one, Takahashi-san. She looked a bit regretful for calling her out.

"Um, I was just watching the town. It's so pretty from up here, right?" she asked eagerly.

They looked but apparently did not see the same beauty. "Um, yeah, it's nice," said Kurosaki-san, obviously feeling awkward. Her "shh" was not meant to be mean, but rather just a precautionary measure in case Kamio-san had an attack.

The classmates were always trying to look out for her.

"Is that a good manga?" Takahashi-san asked.

"Mmm! It's about a girl who moves in with two boys who turn into members of the Chinese Zodiac. Only the first volume is out so far, but it's very good!"

"Uwaaah, sounds dirty!"

"Eh? Ah, no no no, it's really not!" Misuzu had a vague idea of what was meant by "dirty" but she was not willing to ask for an explanation. Okaa-san never talked to her about it, so she figured she needed to wait till she was older to know about the thing that was whispered about among the girls and talked about loudly amongst the boys. Misuzu was perfectly fine with that. She didn't really want to know right now anyway.

She needed to change the topic. "Um, no, it's really very clean. Um, what are you two doing up here?"

"We're going to pray that we both get boyfriends before Christmas!" Takahashi-san cried.

"Iyaaah, I really hope Kento-kun asks me out~!" Kurosaki-san cried, her hands on her cheeks and her eyes closed in bliss.

Misuzu let out a "Waah", very impressed. "Summer vacation just started, but you're starting to pray already?"

"You can't start too late! You can't waste a moment or else your prayer will never be answered!" Takahashi-san and Kurosaki-san shouted simultaneously, making Misuzu smile shyly and giggle.

"Yoshi! Let's go, Mii-chan!" Takahashi-san cried, going arm in arm with Kurosaki-san.

"Ah, bye-bye," Misuzu called, waving, feeling proud that they managed to have a real conversation, a normal one, too!

She was nervous she might ruin it though, so she quickly packed up her things and started heading home, which resulted in her not hearing the girls mention, "Hey, isn't that Kamio-san's mother up there?"

"Boyfriend," Misuzu whispered musingly. To be honest, she never gave much thought to having a boyfriend before. This summer, she started really realizing she was growing up, although she realized she was still very childish, more so than most of her classmates. It was impossible, right now, for her to have a boyfriend, but maybe someday...

Yes, once she grew up...

The thought warmed her, and she adjusted the hat on her head as the ocean breeze swept by her.


	16. The Fifteenth Summer: Interlude

**Prettyinpinkgal: As a brief interlude, here's a poem by Emily Dickenson. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR or this poem.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER: INTERLUDE**

Because I could not stop for Death,  
He kindly stopped for me;  
The carriage held but just ourselves  
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,  
And I had put away  
My labor, and my leisure too,  
For his civility.

We passed the school, where children strove  
At recess, in the ring;  
We passed the fields of gazing grain,  
We passed the setting sun.

Or rather, he passed us;  
The dews grew quivering and chill,  
For only gossamer my gown,  
My tippet only tulle.

We paused before a house that seemed  
A swelling of the ground;  
The roof was scarcely visible,  
The cornice but a mound.

Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each  
Feels shorter than the day  
I first surmised the horses' heads  
Were toward eternity.


	17. The Fifteenth Summer I

**Prettyinpinkgal: From here on out it will be short drabbles. As I said earlier, I do not want to do a dull novelization. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR or this poem.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER I**

Misuzu knew this summer was different.

Ever since the new year dawned, she had sat in patient anticipation for it.

This was the summer, she knew, when things would change. When her hand would grasp the handle of that peculiar door.

Thoughts of her other self ran wild as the summer approached. And her desperation that began to strengthen a few years ago culiminated to shamelessly asking every classmate of hers if they would like to play with her this summer.

All of them said no, plus she had summer school for the first time.

Those were the only things, at the beginning of the last week of regular school, that seemed as if they stayed the same as all the other years.

Those, and the fact that Okaa-san was as silly and distant as usual.


	18. The Fifteenth Summer II

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER II**

No, this summer would not be the same at all. She knew it as soon as she saw the friendly, intelligent crow on her way to school, the day before summer vacation began. He was such a little, sweet thing. Misuzu's heart felt all warm and fluffy from its cuteness. What was really amazing, though, was that it actually followed her. It wasn't like the squirrel at all!

It even came up onto her shoulder! It was...

It was the first time she had ever had the chance to care for anything besides herself. And animals, she heard it said, were never judgmental, and always loved their masters. Misuzu didn't want to be a master, really. She just wanted something to love and love her back. And if it was an animal, wouldn't it keep her from having an attack?

This thought echoed throughout her head as she smiled giddily. "Ready, go!" she cried, stepping into the future with her newfound friend.


	19. The Fifteenth Summer III

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER III**

Maybe it was because he was older and impersonal and looked like he was bored all the time that Misuzu chose Yukito-san to be her friend. As he was all these things, it certainly did allow her to be closer to him without having an attack.

Maybe it was because he was a little weird like her, because not many others would fall asleep for so long on the sea wall. Plus, he had almost nothing with him, even though he was a traveller. Again, this made him a good candidate for companionship with.

Or maybe it was the bond between them, the bond they would discover later. They didn't know very well how the others who had their roles-that of the human counterpart for the girl in the sky, and her knight-in the past had met and become acquainted, or if all of them did. But Misuzu and Yukito-san found each other, and that was all they focused on.

Misuzu looked at their relationship through another light, then, when Kurosaki-san said to her when she saw the silver-haired man waiting by the school gate, "So, is that, like, your boyfriend?"

Misuzu acted a little highstrung and giddy and embarrassed and shy for the rest of the day around him, but by evening she knew that she had no romantic feelings for Yukito-san. No, their relationship went further than romance. It was deeper, stronger. Whether it was their predestined bond or not, Misuzu wasn't entirely sure. But she did know that Yukito-san was the only one who understood her the most, laughed with her, played with her, made her smile.

Maybe someday she would have fallen in love with him, but there wasn't enough time for someday to come when summer was winding to an end so quickly.


	20. The Fifteenth Summer IV

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER IV**

Maybe the best part about Yukito-san was how well he connected with Okaa-san.

Misuzu loved watching them drink and tell crazy stories and argue and laugh. Truth be told, she sometimes even grew a little, iiiitty bitty bit jealous when she saw how close they were. Sometimes, even though she did not like Yukito-san romantically, she grew a little worried that there was something to what she had written for Yukito-san, "Have you fallen in love with me?"

They didn't realize they were such good friends, of course. They both hated each other too much for that, Misuzu knew. Yukito-san yelled at Okaa-san later, when Misuzu got ill, to stay with her daughter, and Okaa-san thought he was a no-good freeloader. But Misuzu knew they were similar; they both cared about her, in varying degrees, and showed it by acting a little callously sometimes. And Misuzu knew Okaa-san really did like Misuzu's friendship with Yukito-san, otherwise she wouldn't let him stay or tell him to work on her "gao" habit or order him to walk her to school.

They bickered, but since Yukito-san came, it started feeling a bit like they were a real, honest to goodness family.

Misuzu hoped they could be together always.


	21. The Fifteenth Summer V

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER V**

Despite how much Okaa-san and Yukito-san seemed like family now, Misuzu still could not fully open up her heart to them. That is why, in the darkness in which she hid her sorrows, Misuzu revealed her pain in her back to only Sora.

"What should I do, Sora?" she asked after she grimaced in pain. "Something's...not right. I never had any problems with my back before. I...Sora, what's wrong with me? What's happening? Is this..."

Misuzu gripped her blankets tightly.

"Is this because of my dreams? Because of those people I'm with in those dreams? That man...looks like Yukito-san. And that other girl...she looks very important to me. But are they the ones causing this? Or is it...the girl I'm supposed to be in those dreams?"

Sora cawed softly, hopping beside her and staring at her intently and caringly.

"Nihaha, thanks, Sora," she said wearily, loosening one hand from the blankets briefly to pat the small head beside her. However, she quickly whipped it away and grasped the front of her pajama top, panting slightly. A bit of sweat trickled down her forehead.

"Sora," she whispered. "I'm scared. I don't think I've ever been this scared since I had my first attack with Okaa-san..."

The clouds covered up the moon, and the world faded to darkness.


	22. The Fifteenth Summer VI

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER VI**

She was sick again. She hated herself for this.

Things were just getting so nice, too! Yukito-san made every day fun, and Okaa-san was home a little bit earlier from now on.

So why? Why did she have to have an attack at school? Why?

"Kamio-san, your mother's here."

Misuzu turned slightly on the bed, watching her mother, still dressed up in her work clothes, sit in the chair beside her. "Heya, kiddo," Okaa-san said quietly, laying a hand on Misuzu's forehead. "How's it goin'?"

"Nihaha, okay."

"Well, shall we be off on our noble steed?"

"Mmm!"

"Okay, well, climb on my back and I'll pick you up."

Misuzu struggled to sit up, trying to ignore the growing pain on two points in her back, and barely managed to grab hold to Okaa-san. Okaa-san looped her arms around Misuzu's legs and picked her up. Misuzu leaned against Okaa-san's back, feeling completely drained.

"Uwaaaah! Misuzu, you need to really eat more! I think you've lost weight!"

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize, you goofball! Just keep better care of yourself, is all!"

"Sorry." Misuzu grasped Okaa-san's shirt a little more. "I'm really sorry, Okaa-san."

As she walked, Okaa-san sighed. "Misuzu, don't apologize. I'm fine with picking you up. Besides-" and Misuzu just knew that Okaa-san was winking "-do you really think I'd rather stay at my stupid job when I have the perfect opportunity to take a break?"

"Nihaha." Misuzu leaned against Okaa-san again. "I'm glad you come so fast all the time, Okaa-san."

"Me too, Misuzu." Okaa-san's voice was gentle.


	23. The Fifteenth Summer VII

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER VII**

All she wanted to do was play cards.

She was okay so far with Yukito-san, so she thought she'd be able to get away with it.

She tried _so hard._

So why wasn't it enough?

Misuzu lay on her bed, for the first time afraid to go to sleep for fear of those dreams. She knew, somehow, that these dreams were connected to Yukito-san's girl in the sky. Why was he searching for her? Because he knew something was going to happen to the girl connected to her. Misuzu thought it might be something not to bad, but Yukito-san's face was always very serious when he talked about her. None of his strange manner of joking showed when he spoke of her.

He knew it was something.

Something bad.

And that's why he spent so much time with Kirishima-san and Tohno-san. Not only because they were nice-Misuzu knew they were, although she was always too shy to spend time with them despite their brief encounters earlier in life-but also because there were weird things about them.

Misuzu knew it when she saw Yukito-san spending time with Tohno-san instead of walking her to school, but that still didn't help the feeling of hurt, the feeling that something indescribably precious to her was being torn away. It felt like Yukito-san was growing further away from her, and that he wouldn't come back.

It made her heart ache worse than she'd felt it in a long time.

"Yukito-san, what if I'm the girl you're looking for?" she whispered from under her blankets, feeling ashamed for her possessive nature but unable to voice it nonetheless. At least she wouldn't say it to him. She was made of tougher stuff than that.

"I hurt," she whimpered to Sora, wrapping her arms around herself.

Something bad was happening to her, because of the girl in the sky, and for the first time in her life, Misuzu felt some resentment towards someone other than herself. After struggling for so long over all these years, why was this girl trying to hurt her, of all people? Why couldn't she just leave her alone? Worse: What if all her struggles over the years were due to the girl? She felt she could never forgive that?

But eventually she did slip into slumber, and consequentally slipped into a dream. And when she woke up, her resentment was gone.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to the girl in the sky. "You were lonely too, weren't you? Is that why you made me lonely too?"

Misuzu didn't want to hate her, this girl who, arguably, was closer to her than anyone else.

So she would dream, to help her understand the girl, so she could forgive her.

It was due to this that Misuzu was so calm when she learned she was to die.

She had already forgiven her, understood her fate, and had set a goal for herself:

She must understand the girl in the sky and make happy memories by doing the things the girl always wanted to do. Then she could save her and the other girls in the future who would have suffered from the curse.

Misuzu would never grow up. She would die, barely fifteen. But it was okay, because even if Okaa-san was leaving, she had Yukito-san. And thanks to Yukito-san, she would meet her goal.

For the first time, Misuzu's life felt like she had a purpose. And for some reason, this was a small happiness in itself.


	24. The Fifteenth Summer VIII

**Prettyinpinkgal: The dialogue is not exact. It's not meant to be. It's Misuzu remembering, and memory distorts over time. (Total cop-out on my part, I know.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER VIII**

"Misuzu?"

"Ah, Yukito-san, what is it?"

"I'm going away."

"Eh?"

"Things will just get worse if I stay here."

"Well then, I'll go with you."

"No, Misuzu, you stay here."

Maybe she misunderstood. She always felt like she was teetering on the edge of her dreamworld when she was awake now. Yes, she probably dreamt it. She followed him to the door when he was leaving.

"No, Misuzu, you stay here."

"Be a good girl."

"Hang in there."

Misuzu felt like she was in her dreamworld again. But still, it wouldn't be right if she wasn't polite, even in a dream.

"Mm. Don't worry. Misuzu-chin's a strong girl."

"Good girl."

She made her victory sign, but he didn't even look. He just walked away.

It had to be a dream, because Yukito-san was always mindful of her.

He wouldn't just abandon her like this.

So why wasn't she waking up?

And the sound of the door shut woke her, and she realized that the pain she was feeling wasn't transcending the dream, that she was consciously experiencing it, and she realized she was not dreaming at all and her spirit spiraled down while her legs gave way.

"What should I do, Sora?" she asked with a sob in her voice. "I'm not strong all alone...I'm not strong...!"

It was the first time she had ever admitted this to herself, and with it came the full knowledge that it was true; the only thing that kept her going was the hope of companionship, but with Yukito-san gone...

She dragged herself back into her bedroom, deaf to Sora's supportive cries. Panting slightly, she leaned against her bed and stared into nothing, feeling as if her newfound goal was crushed to dust under Fate's unkind foot, turning to sharp grains that pricked her and told her, "You stupid thing, you thought you could save someone? You can't even save yourself! Now you have nothing to live for!"

And never had any of Misuzu's thoughts been so close to the truth. For Okaa-san was gone. Okaa-san, who had cared for her in her own way, had always rushed to school when Misuzu had an attack or fell ill, had made her laugh and cooled Misuzu's fever all those summers ago... Okaa-san, who had refused to give her the baby chick, told her not to call her Okaa-san, distanced herself except when drunken silliness possessed her...

Okaa-san really never had cared for her, had she? All these years, trying to figure out what to do with her life to help Okaa-san. All these years, learning how to cook, clean, do the wash for Okaa-san. Buying the cards to play with Okaa-san. Wanting Okaa-san to acknowledge her birthday. Okaa-san was just doing her duty. She had been stuck with an unwanted child, but had tried to make herself enjoy motherhood but found she couldn't after ten years of trying. Misuzu felt she understood, to some degree. After all, she had struggled for ten years to be happy for everyone, but it was too much now.

She couldn't handle it anymore.

"Okaa-san," she whispered. Even if Yukito-san wasn't here, she'd be okay. If only someone was there. Especially if that "someone" was her mother.

"Okaa-san," she called again, a little louder. "Okaa-san, please come back. Okaa-san! Okaa-san! _Okaa-saaaaaaan!_"

When evening fell, Misuzu had another attack, which she distantly found interesting, considering she had never been so alone in her life. Misuzu cried into her pillow, hoping that she would never wake again.

All this time, Misuzu thought all she needed was a friend.

She was wrong.

All she needed was just one person to call family.


	25. The Fifteenth Summer IX

**Prettyinpinkgal: **

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER IX**

"See? Misuzu, watch. Isn't it amazing?"

In her dream, Misuzu saw Yukito-san's doll doing tricks, juggling juice. That meant she was dreaming Yukito-san had come back.

But she was tired, so tired, and so her eyes drifted close...

...

Misuzu awoke to bright light. And there stood one of the most important people in her life.

"Yukito-san..." she murmured, too astonished and tired and dazed to say much more. "Yukito-san, Yukito-san, Yukito-san!"

And he held her tightly, and Misuzu never felt so warm in her life.

He told her magic words, to stay strong and that he would always be with her.

The fact that he'd stay by her side gave her just the burst of life she needed to keep going for a while longer. She might not reach her goal, but she would live until the last dream spirited her away.

Misuzu was not strong on her own, but with Yukito-san lending his strength, she would become the strongest girl in the world.


	26. The Fifteenth Summer X

**Prettyinpinkgal: Gambatte, Misuzu!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER X**

Okaa-san came home.

And Misuzu's heart broke again, but this time into a thousand pieces because her happiness was too big to be contained in her small little heart.

Okaa-san made her food. She hadn't done that in years.

Okaa-san told her it was okay if she got sick, because it would mean they got close, like a real mother and daughter.

Okaa-san cut her hair herself, unintentionally giving her the hair length she had at age five, when their lives began.

Okaa-san helped Misuzu fill her journal with nothing but happy things, things that were slowly surpassing her constant physical misery.

Okaa-san was the last thing Misuzu saw before she fell asleep and into an abyss of darkness, hitting bottom when she awoke and realized she had no idea who the woman with the long hair was.


	27. The Fifteenth Summer XI

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER XI**

The lady was trying very hard to make Misuzu happy.

Misuzu knew this, but she was a stranger, and she wanted Mama, and she couldn't remember having a papa or okaa-san but she knew she once had a Mama, although she couldn't remember what she had been like.

What she did remember was that she wasn't allowed to get too close to anyone, or else bad things would happen, and that she was very sick and that was why her back hurt.

Misuzu knew she wasn't five, but she felt it. She felt as if she had been restarted all the way back to that time, however long ago it had been, and Misuzu was numb and lost because of it.

A man named Keisuke came and said something to the lady. The lady screamed at him and made Misuzu scared; the lady had never yelled before. The lady seemed sorry for it though, but she went back to...not really yelling, but more like crying. The lady begged him to give her three days more, and the man-her father, Misuzu slowly realized-agreed.

Misuzu soon forgot about this, as sleep was grabbing at her again.

**AIR**

She knew she couldn't afford to trouble anyone, including that lady, so she played by herself and didn't cry for help even when she fell onto the hot concrete on the road. But that lady came back, even though she had yelled at her before, and hugged her close, and Misuzu wasn't mad anymore either.

Misuzu started having a harder time differentiating dream from reality. Was her real life on the journey with that man and that woman, or was it here with that crow and woman who called herself both her aunt and her mother?

The cicada had startled her into crying out, and its bobbing about had scared her. In a second, though, that woman had burst into her room, declaring that she was a pro cicada catcher, and her eyes whipped around before stopping on the target. In a second, she had tackled it and let it out into the window, shutting it firmly before sighing with relief and, Misuzu could tell, happiness that she was useful.

Misuzu was grateful, but her shyness and the numbness collided and kept her from saying anything. Her eyes fell on the stack of cards, and Misuzu held them out, like she did one summer many years ago.

The lady's eyes widened with joy, and they played a lot after that. Misuzu thought this lady seemed to love her a lot.

Misuzu thought she could start loving her too.

But when Misuzu woke up a few days later, she found herself in the arms of that man-Papa, no, Otou-san. And like a child, she threw a tantrum, which she had never done when she was an actual child because the real Little Misuzu had nothing to fight for, nothing that was close to get. This Little Misuzu, though, still saw the lady watching her a ways of. If she managed to walk a little...

Faintly, the thought came that she hadn't been able to walk when someone, a man, had been helping her go to the beach. That was when she had long hair and was wearing her favorite hat.

But no-and this defiance banished the memory, and she forgot it again-no, she would be able to make it. She didn't care how much in pain she was in, she just...

She struggled to get up, and the man was handing her her favorite toy. She didn't care about her toy, though, so she pushed it away like the man had done to her all those years ago, even though she could not remember it, and she shakily stood, taking small steps as she struggled. Her voice was lost in her sobs, but she mouthed the treasured word as hard as she could, little gasps coming from her throat as she tried to get the words out. Finally, it broke out:

"_MAMAAAAAAAA!"_

And the lady closed the gap between them by running and nearly falling, and Misuzu was hugged and she felt the ocean spray and Mama said, "That's right. I'm your mother."

Misuzu drifted to sleep again, but she knew it was okay this time, because Mama was holding her so tightly and didn't seem like she'd let her go again, even back to the man who was her father.


	28. The Fifteenth Summer XII

**Prettyinpinkgal: Keisuke is a very complex character to work with. As a man who abandoned his daughter, he deserves our resentment, yet the broken look on his face during the fateful scene when she leaves him is so pitiful. But there is no arguing that in the movie, he's a complete fill-in-the-blank.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER XII**

Haruko slowly picked up Misuzu after what seemed like the most perfect eternity in the world.

Keisuke approached them, and Haruko immediately noticed how old he looked all of a sudden. Years of overworking, in order to forget the past Ikuko and present Misuzu, had made him look older than a man under forty should. Haruko had hated him for all these years. He had thrown away his daughter and dumped her on his girfriend's nearly-destitute little sister. He had avoided the two of them like the plague. He had barely given them any money unless Haruko had swallowed her pride and asked him on rare occasions.

She had hated him, but here he stood a broken man stripped of everything but his freedom and his businessman status, and she wondered how bitter it tasted to him.

"She loves you," were his first words. Haruko wondered if she imagined the faint tremor in his voice.

"Yeah, well, I love her," she said with a slight smile, but the hard, determined look in her eyes never faded.

"It's amazing," Keisuke said, staring at his daughter. "We-Ikuko and I-kept our distance from her all the time. We thought she could never allow us to have some sort of family setting."

"But Misuzu's the reason you two stayed together, right?" Haruko observed instead of really asked.

"Yeah." She had never seen his eyes so soft before. "We wanted to do our best for the baby, but...We never imagined what sort of life she would have, or give us. Every moment, especially after Ikuko got sick, was tense."

"Misuzu's had a hard life here," Haruko said, gently tightening her hold on the slumbering girl. "You sent her here so she wouldn't be near so many people but it's because there's so few people that she had a harder time, I think. Everyone knew of her condition, and she couldn't escape it. The summer she came to live here...Geez, Keisuke, you should have seen that kid, sleeping on my lap and shaking so hard because she was trying so hard not to have one of her attacks. I've never known anyone in my whole life, adult or child, who fought so hard before. She's the strongest person I know. She's my strength."

"Haruko." Keisuke seemed impressed. His eyes went back to her cargo. Her hair had whipped onto her face, and a few facial muscles were flinching because of it. "May I?" he asked hesitantly.

She smiled. "Knock yourself out."

If she hadn't known better, she'd think that he was a father for the first time, about to touch his newborn baby. But the girl was fifteen years old now, and she was in such need of her mother-yes, her mother-that she shouldn't have to deal with the awkward attempts of a father. Maybe once she got better, he might try again.

"I know a hospital," he said presently. "They have excellent doctors there. They might be able to do something for her. I'll pay any cost."

Haruko looked at him, bravely and steadily. "Thank you. I think this is something doctors can't help with, though. The only person who seemed to know anything is gone, but he...no, that last part can't be true...but the rest maybe...Keisuke, maybe all that can help her is just knowing someone cares about her. I've taken off work for the rest of the summer. I'll be by her side always. I'll help her through this."

He nodded. "Understood."

"And, Keisuke..." She paused, but since they were being so upfront about everything... "Why do you suddenly care so much about her?"

He sighed. "When I heard my family gave their consent...For the past ten years, I convinced myself that Misuzu was more of a concept than a person, and when I heard they were giving away something that wasn't theirs to give...It was pride, mostly, but Haruko, you can hate me all you like for what I've done since I've often hated myself for it, but I never hated Misuzu. Not truly.

"And when she pushed me away...I suddenly remembered the flowers she used to bring to us when she was little, how she wanted me to read the dinosaur book to her one night when Ikuko took off. I don't remember...I must have called a neighbor to watch her, but...No, I didn't. I left my two-year-old girl all by herself," he said in disbelief. "And she asked once, so shyly, how to build a plane, and we shut her out. When I asked her a little later about it...Haruko, I'd never seen that girl's eyes sparkle like that before. Was it the topic or the acknowledgement? And...

"And when Ikuko died, she asked if Mama was smiling, and she told me she was for sure so we should be happy. Haruko..." Keisuke had long ago lost the ability to cry, but his expression was all the more heartbreaking because of it. "Haruko, Misuzu was trying to cheer me up. Me, her father, when she was only five years old and half-orphaned. I was so self-absorbed these years, thinking only of what life I should have had instead of being tied down with a live-in girlfriend and a daughter. I never even realized that we were killing her there."

Haruko closed her eyes. She forgave him. No one could hate such a miserable person. "Gotcha," she said. "Do you want to get to know your daughter now?"

"W-well, I would, but..."

"I'm not giving her up. I'll never, ever give her up again, not even if I die. But maybe you could at least start a relationship with Misuzu. Maybe when she's better. Maybe around New Year's?"

He smiled slightly. "That would be good. I appreciate it, Haruko."

He looked again at his daughter, then walked away. Haruko turned around, called for Sora to "heel" (why, Sora didn't know, since he clearly was not a dog) and headed off for home, hers and Misuzu's. There was a bittersweetness in the air that wafted in the breeze.


	29. The Fifteenth Summer XIII

**Prettyinpinkgal: We still have ONE MORE CHAPTER! Ironically, this is Part Thirteen of the fifteenth summer. Unlucky indeed...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE FIFTEENTH SUMMER XIII**

Misuzu awoke as her real self one night, while Mama was sleeping. She retained all her memories of her time she wasn't "all there", and knew that this development wasn't all good. The curse would never let her go free, therefore it had to mean that Misuzu was entering the final stages.

But she was glad, because Misuzu could now thank Mama with all her heart and do what needed to be done, knowing what to do. First, though, she went to her journal and drew her and Mama and Sora all together. And then she fell asleep.

After experiencing the most wonderful and most tragic dream in the entire world, Misuzu was jolted awake by Mama's frantic shaking. She knew what she feared, and smiled cheerfully. "Okaa-san, good morning!" she chirped, using "Okaa-san" instead of "Mama" since it was more her habit to say, and because she wanted to let her know that she was now completely back.

Okaa-san was in denial, and Misuzu wondered what she should do. Should she prepare her? Or should she give her this beautiful morning?

She went with the latter, as she had no idea how to discuss the subject anyway. All it would do was make Okaa-san more miserable than she had to be and keep Misuzu from reaching her goal by thinking that doing so would keep her alive.

Alive...as opposed to dead... Even now, Misuzu couldn't fully grasp those two ideas. Her whole life felt like one long dream. She needed to feel truly alive, like she had struggled against all odds and come out the victor.

Like she was running a race.

She looked at her goal, and smiled.

_I love you, Okaa-san. You've been the best parent I could ever have_.

_Yukito-san, let's go, okay?_


	30. The Last Summer: Epilogue

**Prettyinpinkgal: Thank you all for your supportive comments over the years. I would never have returned to this story without your encouragement, but I've enjoyed this journey so much that I'm glad I did. I hope that I've handled this story in a way you all liked. I hope you enjoy the rest of YOUR summer, and have a blessed time. Now, without further ado, here is the final installment of "The Last Fifteen Summers", set after Yukito/Sora flies up. I couldn't convey exactly what I wanted in this final scene, but I enjoyed writing it, so hopefully you will enjoy reading it. =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AIR.**

**THE LAST FIFTEEN SUMMERS**

**THE LAST SUMMER: EPILOGUE**

She was in the sky, and clouds were passing by much faster than they normally did. The sun was rising and falling much faster as well. Misuzu found herself standing with no effort at all, her hair long again. By her side was Yukito-san, and he was holding her hand. He smiled his usual small smile, and she grinned back.

Okaa-san's screams echoed in her mind for a second, and while she ached to return and comfort her, she would see her again someday. She knew they would eventually both have the strength to wait till then.

And in a way, those cries had helped her reach her goal as well. They were proof that Okaa-san loved her, not just liked. LOVED.

Dark blue hair, which reminded Misuzu of the sky just as night began to fall, swayed, and before them was a sleeping girl.

"Are you ready?" Yukito-san asked.

Hearing his voice again comforted her like a favorite blanket, and she nodded.

As she approached the girl, she saw the teardrops slipping through her closed lids. Her wings flapped slowly enough that Misuzu did not worry about being hit as she dove in and embraced the girl.

"Have you brought me more sadness?" the girl asked, although her eyes and mouth were still closed. "I have obtained a little bit of happiness thanks to that doctor's sister and that little child, but it is not enough, not nearly enough."

Misuzu could feel the girl's pain, and she smiled again, holding tighter. "Nihaha, I have led a hard life," Misuzu said a little shyly. "But it was worth it. Let me show you..."

In a great burst of light, brighter than the sun, the three were engulfed in the illustrious memories. There was great sadness in them, true, but those moments of pure, unadulterated happiness changed Misuzu's life like a drop of coloring could change a whole glass of water. And now they shined radiantly, making Yukito-san say a little breathlessly, "It's enough. It's more than enough."

Subconsciously, she had heard her father's heartfelt comments on the beach.

She had known Okaa-san loved her.

She understood that many classmates kept their distance out of care for her.

She met Yukito-san.

She was able to care for Sora.

She lived by the sea.

She was able to have a purpose.

She got to play cards.

She had stuffed dinosaurs.

She was able to save people.

All these feelings poured forth, and the girl slowly awakened. She took in the blonde friend-friend-before her, who had saved her and countless other girls. Her eyes filled with tears again. "I...I'm so glad...It's over...But all...all those people...I didn't mean to hurt...anyone...I just-!"

"I know!" Misuzu cried, crying a little herself. "But it's okay, because we all understand. We love you, Kanna-san! I'm happy now that I was able to help you."

The girls, sister-like save for the bond deeper than blood, embraced again tightly, and the light surrounded them. "Uraha and Ryuuya are waiting for you," Yukito-san said, putting a hand on both girls' shoulders.

"Ah, yes, and your mother, too, Kanna-san!" Misuzu cried, pulling away slightly with a giant smile.

"Mother...Ryuuya-dono...Uraha...Will they still be waiting for me all this time?" Kanna asked, a little doubtfully as the breeze picked up.

"Yes, they will!" Misuzu declared.

"And besides," Yukito-san added, "we're going with you."

"That's right, Kanna-san, we're with you now." Misuzu positively lit up. "You're not alone anymore!"

Night fell again, and hand-in-hand, they flew up to the heavens, further than Kanna had ever flown before. While morning dawned again and Kanna reunited joyfully with the loved ones of a millenium ago, Misuzu watched Okaa-san sit with Otou-san. They weren't quarrelling, only talking. She was glad that they were finally getting along.

"Are you all right, Misuzu?" Yukito-san asked, placing a hand on her head, like one might a dog.

"Mmm!" And then she smiled at her dearest friend in the universe. "Yes. I'm just very, very happy!"

Below, a whispered "thank you" fell upon the seaside town like a blessing. Those who still had lives and hardships and victories to face went on their way with an extra ounce of strength they never had before, and the birds soared into the blue abyss with more cheerfulness, the windy air carrying them through their journey.


End file.
